Hi Angela.

My husband and I have been married 3 years, and for the past 2 have been trying to conceive.  We have had two back to back pregnancies that have both ended in miscarriage, resulting in 3 D&Cs (1st D&C failed - and very painful).  After the 1st  miscarriage, we waited about 3 weeks to have sex again, which ended up being very painful in my cervix.  (2 D&Cs in 3 days)  We waited another 1.5 weeks and tried again.  Still very painful.  Eventually, it stopped hurting and we went on to conceive our 2nd pregnancy.   The D&C for that miscarriage took place about 5 weeks ago.   We have started resuming sex again, but I've noticed several things.   1)  my sex drive has lowered considerably.   It used to be me that was always talking my husband into sex since my drive was higher, now he's lucky if he can get me in the mood.   It's not that I don't love him, but that my sex drive is gone.   Several times I've "given in" to him because I'd turned him down several days in a row and it's not that I hate sex.   During sex I find myself waiting for him to finish, and not really getting into it... although, still feigning arousal.  2)  I find myself saying "ouch" when it doesn't really hurt.  I feel like Im saying "ouch" almost in anticipation of pain, but not actual pain.   Almost like I have cervical pain skittishness. 

My husband and I have discussed everything I've written here (our relationship is like that) and he says  that perhaps the 2 miscarriages have turned me off to sex.   That I am relating all the pain Ive gone through from multiple surgeries down there, to the act of sex in my mind.    I do miss my sex drive, as it was a fiery part of my personality in our marriage.   Now, Im starting to feel like a roommate to someone I love cos I never want it. 

Advice?