My boyfriend and I have a beautiful 4 month baby boy. In respects to the previous question (fair??) I have a similar situation. I am a recent stay-home-mom, previously a recent college grad beginning my career, so I’m really used to making my own money and decisions. Ever since my son was born, I feel like a 10 year old asking my boyfriend for money to manage our son and household. He never says "no” to anything I ask for, it just feels weird. What really does bother me is that when I ask for his help, he protests he is the "bread winner” and tired of his long workday. How can I express my feeling towards him? Or am I asking for too much. Another thing is we have talked about marriage, but it has just been that, talk. I need to find out if he is really serious...am I rushing into things? Or is our newborn baby still an overwhelming factor? HELP!!

Hi,

Most of what I suggested to "Fair??" would apply to you as well. But in your situation, you've got th additional complication of having an infant and not being married. I think this is definitely NOT the time to start talking about marriage. This is already one of the most stressful times in your relationship--and will stay that way for at least another year or so.

You say you're a recent college grad and were employed before having the baby. If you want back to work, could you make as much as your boyfriend? If so, next time he talks about being the breadwinner and uses that as an excuse for not doing anything with the baby, you can suggest that you swap places--he stays home and you be the breadwinner.

For now, if he's bringing in all the money, it seems only fair that you should be doing most of the childcare. You might want to do a small family audit--each of you keeps track of the number of hours you spend every day doing things for the benefit of the family--that would include commuting to .... Read More