Being "Mom from India"

It’s been more than a month since I’ve written my blog. Just read the RSM newsletter this week and saw my blog featured on it. It was a nice reminder for me…thanks! ;) I have been getting umpteen topics to write about but just haven’t had the time to write; rather, I’ve been too lazy to sit down and type! Mira started cruising this month, and boy has it been tough to keep her in put. My flip-flops, probably because of the red color, fascinate her and as soon as she gets a chance she wriggles towards them. All the pregnancy weight that I haven’t lost until now, I’m going to lose within the next three months! Hey, at least that’ll help me achieve my resolution for the year ;)

I’ve been thinking of how to write about my birthing experience. For me, it is more of a blur because I was really concentrating on not freaking out! It didn’t go the way I wanted it to. What I wanted was a natural delivery, without an epidural and with my husband by my side all the way through. I was totally prepared for that; I had my breathing right, my mind relaxing right, even knew what to tell my husband if he freaked out! What I got was pre-eclampsia in the 36th week. My blood pressure was quite stable throughout the pregnancy, so I didn’t expect such a drastic circumstance. It went from 135/80 to 180/100. I was due on the 22nd of July, but had to be hospitalized on the 25th of June 2006 because I started contracting. The contractions stopped but my blood pressure was still too high, so I was asked to stay. The hospital I was in allowed only one relative to sleep over at night, my mother said she would stay with me, so my husband left for home at around 8 that evening after consulting with the ob-gyn. That night was probably the longest night of my life. Sometime around 9 pm I developed a massive headache. It felt as if a thousand hammers were banging non-stop inside my skull. I passed the night hugging my mother tight and holding on to her hand. The next morning, the ob-gyn came in and told me that she had no choice but to go in for an emergency c-section, because my blood pressure wasn’t stabilizing. Natural birth was out of the question because if they induced labor, I would go into shock, risking both the baby and me. We consented, and two hours later I was cradling my baby, all of 4.6 pounds, in my arms. She felt a light as a feather, but she was here and she was mine! I am really thankful to the ob-gyn who operated on me for taking the right decision. She had none of my previous history to refer, as I had to change physicians at the last moment, because my original ob-gyn was traveling to US for his yearly vacation. But she did a really great job of reassuring me throughout the procedure. The umbilical cord was wound tightly around Mira’s neck and the placenta was heavily calcified I was told. My husband couldn’t be with me during the birth because mine was considered an emergency case. I really didn’t understand what Kylie meant when she asked if I felt in control, all I know is I kept a calm mind and let the doctor take over, but only after I had cleared all my doubts.

As of now, I am truly enjoying being a mommy. Mira’s responses and demands have become more specific and she absolutely loves playtime. She has these different smiles for different occasions. Her Mona Lisa smile is the best. It’s a shy smile but one where you can see the naughtiness in her eyes.
Then she’s got this wonderful toothless smile that she flashes when she is truly enjoying herself.
And boy does she love biscuits. We get these sweet and salty biscuits called “50-50” out here that she really enjoys.

I love watching her asleep, I love the way she smiles at me when she wakes up and I'm having loads of fun being a child with her. She’s my sunshine.
Speaking of sunshine, we’re getting plenty of it here. Summer temps have already reached 90 and we have two more months to go. I am melting even with the air-cooler on full blast! Can’t wait to go swimming with Mira.
My next post will be about post-pregnancy care in India. It is no less than a spa-experience here. Till then take care and stay cool!

Something to think about...

Hi! Taking a break from my life story ;)
One of the latest issues in India is about the skewed sex ratio. The last census conducted in 2001 showed 933 females per 1000 males; in some states the ratio was as low as 861 females per 1000 males. The numbers indicate a sorry state of affairs indeed for the Indian males! The skewed ratio is largely due to the traditional Indian mindset of boys being the ones who will carry the family name forward.
Ultrasound scanning which is actually a boon for pregnant women is really a curse for the unborn girl child! It is illegal in India to perform an ultrasound for sex determination of the fetus; yet many licensed practitioners perform such tests for a few extra bucks. To avoid any legal action they come up with innovative ways to indicate to the parents the gender of their baby. If you are called for your next appointment on a Monday then it is a boy, if on a Tuesday then it is a girl. Another one is the color of the ink the doctor signs the report with; if blue then it is a boy, if black or red then it is a girl. There are raids conducted from time to time by special squads to arrest such practices, but the sheer magnitude of clinics performing these tests and of the people asking for such tests is mind-boggling! So what happens once the gender of the fetus is determined as a female? Take your worst guess…
It is really sad to see that on one hand Indian women are working shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts on a national as well international level, and at the same time such atrocities are committed against the female sex!
India truly is a land of contradictions!

For those who came in late...

It has been one harrowing week! Mira had her first cold, and boy was she confused! Fortunately it was only nasal congestion and did not go any further. Its springtime here and with the weather changing allergies and viral infections are having a field day. All is fine now and we’re back to playing with sunlight and shadows.
Kylie did have a lot of questions, didn’t she? :)
I’ll start with a summary of my pre-pregnancy story. Don’t worry I won’t go too far back to how my husband and I met, because that would make a good blog on some “Love Stories” site. Just this much that, we’ve known each other since 1994, and got married in 2000.
This baby was a precious one for us because we had been through a previous miscarriage. We took the decision to add to our family after five years of marriage, which is quite a long wait for the traditional Indian mindset. If there is no progeny within two years of marriage, anyone and everyone start questioning you. I remember an incident with a doctor that really shocked me. I was in college when we decided to get married, so obviously, having kids immediately was a big no-no. Besides, we wanted kids when we were ready, not because we were married. So we decided to visit a well-known gynecologist for birth-control options. This turned out to be a big mistake because her popularity had obviously gone to her head. When we told her that we did not plan on kids for at least five years she shot back, “then why are you getting married?” Now, I am someone who respects elders and avoids confrontations, and she is a lady who is my mother’s age, so all I could do was stare at her. I was completely in shock! Here was a lady who was a genius at her profession but obviously did not know her limits. I have not seen her face again!
I first got pregnant in 2005, which unfortunately ended in a miscarriage. It was devastating for both of us. My brother, who was on a break after his undergraduate degree came down to India and stayed on for a month to help me get through this ordeal. God bless him. He helped me get back to normal and made me laugh again. Mangesh, my husband, was with me every step of the rough road to recovery. We have had to endure the test of time ever since we’ve been together. It has made us stronger and more committed to each other.
In India, till about a decade ago people would blindly follow doctor’s orders, no questions asked! The newer generation prefers to arm themselves with information before visiting a doctor. This does not sit well with some of the old school doctors because they prefer to do the talking themselves rather than entertain their patients’ queries. As for me, I too ask a lot of questions and this proved to be a major hurdle with the doctors we met. We went through a battery of tests and changed doctors more than twice. All our test results came out normal, but we were unable to conceive. I was getting tired of all the ovulation monitoring and pill popping. Fortunately, a close friend told us about a very warm old gentleman of a doctor. At our first meeting, I knew I could completely trust him. What's more, I thought he resembled my grandfather, to whom I was very close to. Dr. Ghosh answered all our doubts patiently and suggested a diagnostic laproscopy. There was a tiny blockage in one of the Fallopian tubes. After the procedure, we tested positive within six months. So this pretty much sums up my pre-pregnancy experience. My pregnancy is a whole other story. Be sure to tune in for the next installment.

Finally........hello!

Hi all!
Finally I get to start my blog! It’s been really hectic since New Year. Plus, its allergy season here in India, so everyone’s been falling sick in turns!
But first, a little about myself. I’m Pramilla, super mom to Mira a very curious-about-everything seven month old. She has been the center of attention from day one on this planet. She is the first baby girl in the family; all her cousins are rowdy little boys. And she is quite a diva! Her father has been clicking photographs of her since she was ten minutes old, and now she behaves as if the camera is her friend!
Okay, okay…. Before I get carried off again gushing about my little darling, back to basics then! I’ve studied hotel management. Was in the US for three years; first at Burlington, MA and then at Spokane, WA, where my parents are currently settled. In fact, it was my mother who told me about RealSavvy Moms. She is a regular viewer of the TV show. I am settled in Pune, Western India. It used to be a small town, but due to the boost in the IT industry, it is now bursting at the seams! For those of you who follow the Hollywood buzz, it is here that the “Brangelina” clan spent most of their time last year on their visit to India. My husband, Mangesh, is an interior designer, which means he has no fixed hours. But the dear man is trying to spend as much time as he can with his little princess.
So here is the basic introduction to our little unit. I do welcome your questions and comments, as it my first blog experience.