Guilt

I know it's ridiculous. I feel stupid even sharing this, but maybe you can reassure me...

We are talking about trying for baby #2 sometime soon, and every time the thought even enters into my mind, I feel a sense of overwhelming guilt. See? Told you it's stupid. I love Olivia so much. So incredibly freaking much and I can't imagine loving another baby like I love her. I know that I would, and it's not really that I think I won't, it's just that I feel guilty thinking about it. But I know I want another one. It's a contradiction and it makes no sense. I'm not sure that many mamas feel that way because I've mentioned it to a few friends and they looked at me like I was from another planet, except for one friend. She told me that she has another friend who told her outright that she'll always love her first more. Now I know I would love all my children the same, but for now, when that other child doesn't yet exist, I feel terribly guilty.

I'm scared I won't feel as excited about another pregnancy. I'm worried Olivia will be jealous then the new baby comes. I can't stop thinking that if I love Olivia so much, why do I need another? But I know the answer. Because I want one. I know we'll end up having at least one more, but I just want to get over these feelings before we start the process.

Am I normal? Did any of you moms feel this way the 2nd time?

Mood: Contemplative

Potty Training

We just bought Olivia her first potty chair. She's been showing a bit of an interest when I go potty, because of course, she's always there! It's seldom I do anything alone these days. :) She likes to flush the toilet and she often tries to climb up on it. She can say "tee tee" and "poo poo" and sometimes when I change her, she'll say them. I think she's kind of sort starting to get the idea. I know there are differing views on when to start potty training. I personally know people who started before their child was a year old, and I know others who waited as late as three years old. Personally, I'm not fond of changing a three year old's diaper, but I know it's a very personal choice. Everyone's kids are different.

I'm not ready to dive full force into potty training, but I think it might be good for Olivia to see her potty sitting in the bathroom and maybe practice sitting on it. The set I ordered comes with a doll and the doll has her own little potty, so it might be good practice. I'll see how she responds, and go from there. I don't mind changing diapers, and I really don't expect her to be out of them soon, but it can't hurt to get her used to the idea.

I did a little reading and found a lot of good info from Dr. Sears's website. I have found his information very helpful in the past. He lists several signs your child is ready, and Olivia isn't showing most of them, so I'll be careful not to rush her.

I'll let you know how it goes when her new potty arrives. It comes with the book, "Once Upon a Potty". She'll at least love the book and the doll!




Dr. Sears's website

Mood: Cheerful

These are a few of my favorite things

I remember when I was pregnant, I asked my friends who already had children about the products they used and what they found to be most helpful. As I was stocking up on various things at our almost-completed-Babies 'R Us-but-currently-Toys 'R Us, I was thinking about creating a list of my own.

I LOVE the smell of this lavender baby wash. After her bath, the smell stays for hours. So relaxing and spa-like!



Everyone has their own preference for diapers and wipes. I started out by using Huggies, but found that Pampers work better for my daughter because she has a higher crack (is there really a nicer way to say this? LOL!) and the Pampers come up higher on her little fanny! We use Huggies wipes, but for my diaper bag, I love these:




I initially started buying them because they are gentle for breastfed babies that tend to poop more often, but I've found that eventhough Olivia nurses less, she still poops a lot!

This seat was essential, at least for me. Olivia was able to sit-up and see what was going on before she could support herself. We'd sit her on the table (while we were there) in it when we'd eat dinner, and she wouldn't fuss. These things are great!



I made a lot of my own baby food, and it was so easy. However, I found that the blender really didn't puree it all that well, which is important for first-foods, so I bought this processor. 20 bucks and works like a charm!



Olivia has always had sensitive skin, just like her mommy. Nothing seemed to work on her dry skin except for this. I love anything by Aveeno. Their diaper rash cream is good, too.



These little bags are great for stinky diapers on the go! (sorry I couldn't find a better pic-- look at the dispenser hanging off the side of the diaper bag)



These are a must-have for anyone who's a little OCD about germs. I use these to wipe down surfaces at restaurants where Olivia is sitting.



And last but not least, safe and environmentally friendly cleaning products for wiping down her high chair, or her bathtub, or wherever! These are all natural and safe!



What can't you live without?

Mood: Cheerful

Notes from the Underbelly

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this show! It's about a couple preparing for there first child and how their lives change, as well as the lives of those around them. Reminds me of my not-so-long-ago days of being pregnant and makes me wish I still was, although I wouldn't trafe having Olivia here with us for anything! All the planning and excitement wondering what the baby would look like and how it would feel to hold it. Although this show takes a more humorous approach, it's also sweet.

When I was pregnant, James was supportive, but took more of a backseat approach. I did most of the reading and planning, and he went along with it. The husband in the show is adorable. He's super involed and obsesses about every little thing.

If you haven't seen this show, you can catch up with the episodes on the ABC website, or re-watch them.

Mood: Cheerful

Wanted!

Just thought I'd share this!



You can make one
here!

Mood: Cheerful

Going Natural

In honor of Earth Day, I decided to blog about the changes I've seen in myself since I became a mom. I don't know what's happened to me. I think I'm turning into a crunchy mama (you know, like granola and all that!) :-D

Seriously though, I used to not even make the effort ro recycle if it meant having to wash out a really nasty jar. Now, I'm this organic-buying, takes other peoples things home to recycle, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeder, baby-wearing, hybrid car wanting mama and it started when I had a baby. I don't cloth diaper, but I think that's next. I've been looking into it and wish I had sooner. Anyone cloth diaper? Any good recommendations?

My husband laughed at me the other day for buying Organic dog food and told me I've gone nuts (ha! nuts! as in a a crunchy snack!) In my defense, it was when they were having the dog food re-calls, but still. I know I've caused my friends and family to raise some eyebrows.

I've realized lately how important going green really is. I'm now thinking about Olivia's future and the future of her children. I also love that Real Savvy Moms has so many great natural products in their store. More and more people are becoming concerned about what's healthy. My local grocery store even got rid of much of their baby food and replaced it with Earth's Best.

Even if this isn't your lifestyle, try to do something healthy for the environment, and if you already do, share! :-)

Mood: Cheerful

Happy 1st Birthday, Olivia Beth!

My baby is one. I can't believe it. Everyone warned me the first year would be over in the blink of an eye, and how true it was. It's odd, really. Olivia is no different now than she was a few days ago, but suddenly, things just feel different. I just want to stop time and savor every second of this stage, and I can't. It seems as if time is out of control, and I can't keep up.

We celebrated with close family on her actual birthday, and Olivia enjoyed her first cupcake. She didn't quite know what to make of it at first, and she was confused by us all just standing there looking at her, but after a small taste, she was sold!



She also had a ball that night playing with all your gifts! She didn't fall asleep until after 11:00! I think all she's done the last several days is play, play, play!



Here are some other pictures from her little party on Saturday.



By the end of the party, Olivia was snoring in my arms. You can see her dead asleep in the last picture in the corner. If only it were always that easy for her to go to sleep! :-) Oh, and the little boy at the bottom is Olivia's boyfriend, Robbie. He's so precious! He's eating cake in Olivia's carseat since we only had one high chair!

Well, I'm now the mom of an almost-toddler. She's not "toddling" quite yet, but no doubt will be soon. She's still a baby, but she's changing so much every day. I know I'll love each and every stage though. I have so much to look forward to!

Mood: Cheerful

Ouch!

Poor Olivia has the worst diaper rash ever. I always change her regularly and use cream and or/cornstarch when she needs it, so I'm not sure what brought this on.

We've been in Savannah for the past few days (awesome city BTW), and she seemed to have more dirty diapers while we were on vacation, so maybe all the wiping caused it? Her skin is so sensitive anyway, so it could be anything. I'm sure sitting in a carseat all day yesterday didn't help, although we stopped to change her every couple hours.

That whole region "down there" is red and feels like sandpaper and she cries when I wipe her off. I've been using Desitin, but when that didn't take it away, I started using Vaseline. I also picked up some Aveeno diaper rash cream, but they're all pretty similar, aren't they? I just wish someone knew a magic solution so my baby wasn't so miserable.

I purposely made her bath water room temperature because warm water dries out skin, but beyond that, I'm not sure.

Addording to my findings through the University of.google (it knows just about everything!), egg whites can help, but not only is she allergic to eggs, I'm not sure that putting something potentially containing salmonella in my daughter's nether regions is so brilliant. Has anyone else heard of this?

More practical solutions include:

--letting the area air out (just be careful! They're liable to leave you a little present!)

--avoiding soap or other irritants in the area

-- changing their diaper more frequently

I hope these help. In fact, I'm off the change her diaper again while she's sleeping. I'd hate to leave this diaper on all night and have it soaking sopping wet!

Mood: Cheerful

Vaccines: Are we really helping our children?

I used to think the only people who didn't want to vaccinate their children were weirdos, alarmists, or tree-huggers. That was before I saw several TERRIFYING news programs on autism and the beliefs on what is causing it. I'd like to think of myself as a pretty normal, caring parent who does the best she can without going overboard. I'm very health conscious. I believe nursing is importnat and have nursed for a year (don't know when I'll stop), I buy organic when I can, but always give organics to my baby. I try to only give her medicine when she really needs it. But I never really thought about vaccines before. I assumed a responsible parent vaccinates their child. But now, I'm hearing all these news stories about children developing autism at 2 and 3 years old, and it's scaring the hell out of me! It used to be a rare thing people were born with. Now, they're saying as many as one in fifty (yes, FIFTY!!!) kids have it, and some start out as normal, healthy children and then develop it later. This is scary stuff!

I personally know a couple children with it, and really, that's a lot. I don't know THAT many children. I've asked my pediatrician about it before, and basically waved a hand at me and said, "well, I still believe vaccines are important." I don't want to seem like an alarmist, or do my child disservice by not vaccinating her, but what's a concerned parent to do?

I mentioned my concerns to my husband, who initially looked at me like I was nuts. "Of course she should get vaccinated! Why wouldn't she?" But then I told him about what I've heard, and he changed his mind. He freaked out and told me to tell our pediatrician NO MORE!

I found a great website with tons of information. You may want to check it out if this is something that worries you.

link

Mood: Distressed

I love him, but . . .

Because my husband doesn't read this blog, I can get away with talking about him just a little. The truth is, lately he's been driving me nuts.

Ok then, I'll just dive right in!

Is it so hard to turn your clothes rightside out when putting them in the hamper? I have to watch Olivia constantly. She's into EVERYTHING these days, so when I am quickly trying to throw a load of laundry in the wash, I don't want to take the time to pull his socks inside out and pull his pant legs back out. I've seriously told him 50 thousand times!

And then, . . .
The other night, I had the worst stomach ache. I was seconds from puking (I thought so at the time) and wouldn't you know, Olivia woke up after already being in bed and wanted me to hold her.

"I just can't" I told James. "I'm too sick!"

"But she wants you. If I take her, she'll cry"

So he makes half an affort, and she starts to cry.

"See?" he says. "She wants you. Sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to when you're sick."

Wait a minute! Huh? He wouldn't ever do something he didn't want to when he's sick. If he has a headache, or heck, even a freaking paper cut, he whines and whines. I love how men do that. We moms take care of everyone and everything regardless of how we feel, and men can have a sore finger and can't deal with anything. So, of course, I ended up rocking her back to sleep-- with her laying on my nauseous tummy no less. I deserved props for that. I really think so. But he was alseep even before Olivia was. There was no "thank you", but you'd better believe I gave him hell the next day!

And he's so practical. Everything is cut and dry, black and white. I told him I feel lonely sometimes not working anymore. "But you have the perfect life" he says. I love being home with my daughter, and eventhough money is tight, I am just so thankful that I am home, but it DOES get lonely, and my feelings are REAL. He doesn't see it. To him, I am lucky. Period. It's this way when it comes to most things. He always has the answer. A way to talk me out of what I'm feeling.

Ok, so enough complaining. Just had to vent.

What drives you nuts about your other half?

Mood: Distressed