hi, i'm trying to figure out how to deal with my mother in law and my son's attachment to her.  he will frequently prefer her to me when she's around, and sometimes cry when she leaves.  it really really bothers me, even though when we pick him up from daycare he'll sometimes cry to stay and that is not that difficult.  she has had a larger than normal role in his life up until now, and sort of ran the show even when i was around because her personality is very large, but i've recently addressed even though difficult to let her know to back off.  he is the the only grandchild, and i'm trying to limit the time together a little bit, but my husband has a major issue with this, stating it's his grandmother and i should just understand.  am i somehow in the wrong for wanting to try to curb this for my personal feelings?  he also will sometimes cry to not leave daycare, but the only time it really bothers me is with her and that is probably because i've been surpressing these feelings for too long and should have addressed it when he was born!  also, he is 20 months now so i wonder if it will get better later.  thank you so much.

Hi Elizwill,

Based on what you are sharing with me, it sounds like it would be very helpful for you and your husband to be on the same team in regards to this issue.  You are having very strong feelings about the role your mother in law is taking in your son's life and your husband seems to be discounting your feelings.  I'm wondering if he was able to fully understand how you are feeling and if he was able to understand your perspective ( i.e. why this is so hard specifically for you) he might make different choices.  You might also feel differently if he was supporting you more emotionally.  Then you might find that the amount of time your mother in law was spending with your son might not be as difficult for you.  

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