My daughters father and I separeted when she was 2wks old. He was having multiple issues that put the well being of my daughter and I at risk. She is now 3 1/2, he has really just started seeing her in the last year and not even on a regular basis. I have moved on and have a wonderful man in my life that looks at my daughter as his own. My problem comes from my ex's parents. They were always very involved in my daughters life and she spent overnights with them quite often. Then in May of this year my world was turned upside down with one phone call. My exs half sister told me a horrifying story of her father and step-mother (my exs parents), of sexual abuse to her and her other sister when they were young. I also found out that my ex had accused his father of sexual abuse. Social Services were involved with all cases, but the kids all recanted and charges were never filed. I have not allowed my daughter to see them since. I work in government and spoke with many close co-workers about the situation. Since my daughter was so young and never exhibited signs of any abuse decided not to have her checked by a doc. A lawyer friend told me to not allow her back to the grandparents. My ex is still totally irresponsible and only has supervised visitation.  My delima now is with the approaching holidays he wants to take her to see his parents especially for christmas.  I have so many fears with allowing this.  My duaghter currently has not ever asked to see her grandparents and usually doesn't want to go see her father. I am afraid if I allow some kind of christmas gathering that she will start asking questions. My exs parents toatally deny that anything ever happen, and say that all the kids made the accusations out of anger toward their father. My exs mental status is not that great and he says he can't really remember anything from his childhood. I have only spoken to the oldest siter who called me and told me all of these things. The other sister refuses to talk to me. I guess I just really want to know an outside opinion on the situation.

Dear Soinlove,

You are responsible for the safety of your daughter.  If at this time with the information you have you don't trust your ex's parents, then you need to act accordingly.  It makes sense to listen to your instinct and at the same time to continue gathering information from your ex&.... Read More