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m-i-l   Question hi i'm trying to figure out how to deal with my mother in law and my son's attachment to her he will frequently prefer her to me when she's around and sometimes cry when she leaves it really really bothers me even though when we pick him up from daycare he'll sometimes cry to stay and that is not that difficult she has had a larger than normal role in his life up until now and sort of ran the show even when i was around because her personality is very large but i've recently addressed even though difficult to let her know to back off he is the the only grandchild and i'm trying to limit the time together a little bit but my husband has a major issue with this stating it's his grandmother and i should just understand am i somehow in the wrong for wanting to try to curb this for my personal feelings he also will sometimes cry to not leave daycare but the only time it really bothers me is with her and that is probably because i've been surpressing these feelings for too long and should have addressed it when he was born also he is 20 months now so i wonder if it will get better later thank you so much
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elizwill
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1/26/09
12:01 pm |
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lost all self esteem Question I have bipolar and I have never been a really positive person but ever since I got pregnant with my second son I feel negative al the time I am no longer pregnant and feeling worse by the day I can not think any positive thoughts and I feel hopeles and helpless especially about my relationship with my boyfriend We have been together for over a year now he has three kids from a previous relationship and I have one kid from a previous relationship and we have a five month old together now I can not help but feel that I am not good enough for him I E pretty enough smart enough etc etc and I am always bugging him about girls that try to talk to him and the fact that he is still friends with some of his exs and I am just really insecure in general He is practically out he door already but I do not want him to leave I love him and I want this to work but I am driving him away with my negativity and constant nagging What can I do to change my attitude and keep him from leaving me because he has gotten to the point where he does not even want to talk to me anymore because he says nothing but negativity comes out of my mouth
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chelsiefelix
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170 |
12/17/08
1:54 pm |
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how can i cope with parenting and education? Question How can i cope with parenting and education
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luchangel
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172 |
11/25/08
9:09 am |
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What am I suppose to do? Question My daughters father and I separeted when she was 2wks old He was having multiple issues that put the well being of my daughter and I at risk She is now 3 1/2 he has really just started seeing her in the last year and not even on a regular basis I have moved on and have a wonderful man in my life that looks at my daughter as his own My problem comes from my ex's parents They were always very involved in my daughters life and she spent overnights with them quite often Then in May of this year my world was turned upside down with one phone call My exs half sister told me a horrifying story of her father and step mother (my exs parents) of sexual abuse to her and her other sister when they were young I also found out that my ex had accused his father of sexual abuse Social Services were involved with all cases but the kids all recanted and charges were never filed I have not allowed my daughter to see them since I work in government and spoke with many close co workers about the situation Since my daughter was so young and never exhibited signs of any abuse decided not to have her checked by a doc A lawyer friend told me to not allow her back to the grandparents My ex is still totally irresponsible and only has supervised visitation My delima now is with the approaching holidays he wants to take her to see his parents especially for christmas I have so many fears with allowing this My duaghter currently has not ever asked to see her grandparents and usually doesn't want to go see her father I am afraid if I allow some kind of christmas gathering that she will start asking questions My exs parents toatally deny that anything ever happen and say that all the kids made the accusations out of anger toward their father My exs mental status is not that great and he says he can't really remember anything from his childhood I have only spoken to the oldest siter who called me and told me all of these things The other sister refuses to talk to me I guess I just really want to know an outside opinion on the situation
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soinlove
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11/6/08
6:31 pm |
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lack of sex Question I'm 29 almost 30 and I just don't enjoy having sex that often we just had a baby and she's seven weeks old it still hurts when we try and i was wondering if it was normal to still hurt down there after seven weeks he's 23 and his sex drive is still through the roof but mine is not is there something i can do to put me in the mood it was like this even before i got pregnant
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brandy2929
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9/5/08
2:45 pm |
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NO PRENATAL CARE Question I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WAS DUE YESTERDAY AND HAS NOT HAD ANY PRENATAL CARE WHAT ARE THE REPERCUSIONS I OFFERED TO TAKE HERE TO ANY AND ALL MD APPT S BUT SHE ALWAYS BACKED OUT OF GOING I KNOW WHAT THE CHANCES ARE FOR THE BABY BUT WHAT ABOUT LEGALLY
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LBS
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8/24/08
6:33 am |
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?His last name or mine? Question I'm not exactly sure if this is the right place to post this question but I'm very confused I'm 23 weeks pregnant and almost 21 yrs old I'm not sure if I should give my baby boy my boyfriends last name or mine when he is born Jan 21 2008 My boyfriend and I have been together for just about 2 yrs and this will be his third boy His first boy was a one night thing who he didn't even know about till the boy was 6mths the boy doesn't have his last name but has been living with him for a couple of years The second son has the exact name as him but him and the ex gf broke up when the baby was a couple of months old I'm very confused by this cause I don't want to hurt him or his families feelings but I also don't want to go through problems if the eventually occur Thanks
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cutiecady
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9/27/07
1:45 am |
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Intimacy problems when pregnant, Kinda personal... (re: husband) Question So I think my DH and I are having intimacy problems during pregnancy Last 2 out of 3 times we tried to be frisky which isn't often now adays he stopped and made some excuse of why (uncomfortable too hot phone ringing at beginning distracted him too much etc ) We had only had this happen maybe 2X in our entire marriage before I got pregnant I am terrified after 9 years of marriage he is beginning to lose attraction to me Or is this just a pregnancy thing This is the first time I've even been pregnant and I am feeling ugly rejected and worried he is falling out of love with me Do men get weird during pregnancy What could be causing the problem I've tried talking to him about it and he's not worried he's going to hurt the babies Mostly he makes up a bunch of excuses why for "that" time he did say he is having some thoughts of me being a 'mother' and not his wife/plaything which depresses me I don't want us to not be intimate the rest of our lives I mean if it were becaue he isn't attracted right now because my breasts have gotten ginormous or the extra weight I'd almost feel better because those things will go away after this mental thing with us starting and him not being able to finish I know shouldn't bother me but I feel so worried I'm going to lose him and rejected
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desolation anonymous
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6/23/08
7:42 pm |
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stress Question my quetion is Im 36 week and im having alot of strees can my baby expirence all that or can she come out sick or can i have problems on my labor over so much stress that i have
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yary
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5/27/08
1:49 am |
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need help please Question Well me and my fiance just had a baby boy and while pregnet I found out hes having another baby in July by somone else He said she dosent mean anything to him he just made a misstake and he said that infront of both of us and he said he loves me and wants to move on but I dont know how to move on from this Its been hard to trust him to even go to walmart I wonder if hes ether going over to the other girls house or calling her My self exsteem took a big nose dive I have people tell me im pretty or smart but I dont feel it and after this it really afected me I dont want to brake up and I want to move on but how do I know he wont do this again I really dont think I can do this again
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gkayla
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3/15/08
4:09 am |
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4 year old NOT adapting well to preschool/daycare Question My son just turned 4 in February and has just began a daycare/preschool for the first time ever in his life I am working just part time so he's been going just 1 or 2 days per week for about 4 weeks now He has never been a very social child it usually takes him a very long time to warm up to other children and he does best in smaller groups but he does love to learn and is very bright for his age But he is VERY emotional and crying anxiously when we talk about going to his school When he knows he has to go the next day he cries in bed the night before and the morning of and the whole way there in the car And you can see that he's trying NOT to cry but he can't help it My 2 year old daughter is going there as well and she is adapting just fine but also is much more of a social creature So my question is how long do we let this go on for until we say OK let's try something else How would you interpret his amount of crying about it Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer It's eating me up inside
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Mama SC
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4/1/08
3:42 pm |
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baby care Question Hi I am a single mom and I need to go back to work full time I can't afford babysitter like Merry Popins and in my area there are cheap option like mom with baby taking care of my baby in her home for about 200 /week Or there are few daycare centers for about the same amount Which do you think would be better My concern is thet in day care she (my baby) wouldn't get so much attention becaouse of all the kids and she loves people She practicly stays on my arm all day and when I am putting her down she cries and I don't want her to feel let down But on the other hand they are profesional and mam with kid well is verry experience but that is like hireing teenager as babysitter for older kids But with mom there will be just 2 3 kids counting my SO I am verry confused PLEASE HELP I don't want to leave my baby in first place but economy is forcing me to and since I have to do that I want her to have good care And will she won't forget me Will she still smiles everytime she sees me
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Tweety
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4/2/08
10:27 am |
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What should I do? Question I have a complicated situation I am 31 weeks pregnant; however when I was 10 weeks pregnant the father of the baby and I decided to break up Since then I have moved on with life and married my true soul mate Nevertheless when it is time to give birth I would want my husband to be in the delivery room with me and not the baby's father Is this wrong I also want the baby to have my married last name Legally can I give the baby my married last name instead of her father's last name Thanks
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ndblessed
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4/5/08
7:11 pm |
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???? Question Okay My husband and i just got married in october last year and we are only 17 yrs old but he is going to join the military so we can support our baby We have a problem seing eye to eye on a lot of things I am very bosy and I stress out on everything I've always been an easily irritable person which makes a lot of problems He is stuborn and dosn't think we need any counseling but I do Do you have any advice for me If anyone does please let me know Thank You
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NewMommy17
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2/28/08
10:25 pm |
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finances after birth Question i am in the state of nevada and have found that many state rules are different here do you know where i would be able to find information pertaining disability or unemployment
Answer |
2nd time around
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2/26/08
1:57 pm |
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I want to be beautiful again & be happy for myself & the sake of my family Question I will try to make this as quick as possible as I have a nearly 2 month old & a soon to be 3 year old running around The bottom line is that the one thing important to my self worth is my appearance & that's a problem because I hate it I used to have gorgeous teeth after years of braces (which was tough because I paid for them as a tween & teen with saving bonds & money I got for birthdays as a kid because my mom would not ) I was also very uncomfortable image wise in them Anyhow a year or less after having them removed my teeth began to separate The dentist wanted more money to fix them Hence rendering the braces & time spent with them hating them a waste However for that little time of almost a year I loved to smile all the time & it made me feel GREAT & most importantly beautiful & confident Now with two children I am a stay at home mom I only own sweats & sweatshirts I am (a little) over weight & cannot stand to look in the mirror My husband does NOT understand & I am becoming extremely withdrawn & depressed The strange thing is that if I had my smile back I wouldn't care about the weight & sweats It's the fact that I HAD the beauty I always wanted & waited so long for I got a taste for it & it was taken away Getting my teeth fixed is WAY too expensive & my husband will not pay for it It hurts me because he knows that this could change my whole world The way I live it the way I look at it & the way I live it day to day Is it petty & selfish to feel that way I want my smile back because with it comes my confidence I'm only 29 & I can't live this way I don't go out I cry alone (& as I am while writing this ) I feel that everyone else will think this is stupid but I want to be beautiful again & I know how I can but I can't I don't have the means It is right in front of me & I still can't have it Does this make sense at all I'm a little emotional My image consumes me every time I need to go out( when I have no other option but to) or pass a mirror I used to LOVE to look in the mirror & go out I loved my image Now I fight back tears every time I get ready to go out when I have no other choice I stay inside if I can I'm so sorry for rambling but I need to know how I can overcome this so I can live my life & find some happiness about my image (what's left of it) so that I can enjoy my children & the many years I have left How do I get past this & be happy with myself again (It's like once you've gotten the taste of "being rich" & it's taken away how can you ever be happy again ) My marriage is falling apart because of my withdrawal & depression & my relationship with my children is becoming impacted Thank you SO much in advance I apologize for the frenzy of the question SINCERELY Mrs Cormz
Answer |
Mrs.Cormz
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318 |
1/22/08
3:07 pm |
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Too clingy? Question Hi I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years Before we got together I was a busy girl partying and dancing and I had so many hobbies Now that we've been living together fora while and I'm 39 and 1/2 weeks pregnant I feel like I have no life in a way He loves music and sometimes he wants to watch TV in the living room or be on the computer with his headphones and I feel kinda left out I can see how I'm being ridiculous because he loves me so much & he takes really good care of me But I also feel like I have no hobbies or interests of my own and that makes me a little worried I'm not into what I used to be into so how can I find some new interests & how can I find a way to let him do his own thing without taking it personally He works a lot so I don't want to smother him and I also don't want us to get tired of each other We love eachother very much and look forward to spending our lives together and starting our family I would appreciate some advice I can't afford counseling or anything so some insight/ideas would be helpful Thanks
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cynthia889
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377 |
11/14/07
1:33 am |
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mood swings Question Hello well I am almost 8 months pregnant and have a 2 and a 1 year old at home I am very emotional and get very angry sometimes My boyfriend and I have been togethor off and on but we just moved in togethor again he is constantly complaining about stuff I dont like the people he hangs out with and I work full time and then come home to a house of people that I dont like there is this girl and she used to date him I dont act very nice to him when his friends are around I guess I treat him with disrespect Right before we moved in we were talking about moving in and possible getting married but then he cheated on me with a stripper and he got a infection and gave it to me He hurt me really bad and I am having a really hard time trusting him He likes to be controlling and talk down on me He is constantly calling me names and comparing me to this stripper He doesnt work only collects unemployment so when he gets paid I tell him that he needs to help with the expenses but he is contantly blowing his check on stuff that I dont ever see that leaves me to pay all my bills How do I go about telling him that he needs to chip in and start paying part on bills without making him angry When he isnt around I feel more like I am missing him and wanting him to be around but yet when he is around I dont want him to be there its very confusing any advise of this subject would help me thanks Tammy |
tamann
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400 |
9/20/07
7:08 pm |
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i need to breathe Question I find myself pushing my hubby away when i want some "me" time He doesn't understand He has a hard time with "feeling abandoned" Something his mom and dad did to him as a child Help me break it to him gently He's beginning to smother me accept when he is at his job and i at mine and now he is calling me or texting me on my cell at work help I DO WANT TO MISS HIM SOMETIME LOL OR is it me I MENTIONED I WAS WANTING SOME TIME TO MYSELF AND HE STATED OK THEN WE CAN PLAN A VACATION (OH BOY ) I FEEL LIKE I NEED A DAY VACATION FROM HIM IS THAT WRONG HORMONES OUT OF CONTROL BUT STILL IN LOVE
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hardworkingwoman
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453 |
9/17/07
6:37 am |
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Disagreeing over finances Question I am a mother to a three year old and pregnant with my second child Since my first born was 1 year old I left my highly paying job to stay at home My husband has his own business and likes being the provider and having more authority as to what we do with our money Over the weekend his grandfather passed away His grandmother lives on a small fixed income but does have a sufficient amount of money put aside for a funeral and was ready to write the check Without my consent and without speaking to me he offered to pay for the entire funeral of 7 200 We have a profitable business but have 17 000 in credit card debt and a huge tax bill to pay in three weeks We don't have that liquid cash right now so he paid over half today and told his grandma he would repay her for the rest in the next two months She accepted I am very upset but am lost for words since this is a ridiculous fight to have when someone has just died However it is reality I did tell him that because he made such a rash decision that I am considering turning in our luxury car early on its lease to get something much more affordable and reasonable I am fed up with people gettting the wrong impression of what we have What is your advice on how to handle this dilemma |
kim
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395 |
9/17/07
8:37 pm |
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Re: about being pregnant Question i was wondering that if i took a pregnancy test 5 days before my menstral cycle is suppose to start it said i was pregnant and the day before i was supose to start my menstrual cycle it came can i still be pregnant even if i am going thru my menstral cycle please give me some advise this would be my first time getting pregnant
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taz
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1 |
437 |
9/10/07
9:33 pm |
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Michael Barmak, LCSW is a psychotherapist with a specialty in couples counseling
for new parents. As a workshop presenter, Michael speaks on topics including "Finding
the Gold in Your Relationship," "Having a Baby Changes Everything,"
"Sustaining Connection with Your Partner While Parenting" and "Healing
Your Aloneness." 
