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Two homes

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My question concerns my seven month old grandson living in two different homes/families I am the mother of a 16 and 17 year old boys My 17 year old son is the father of my grandson and the mother is 15 years old My concern is he lives half the week with his mother and maternal grandmother and the other half in our home His parents don't date or spend any time together I am concerned that there is very little congruency (not sure that is the word i'm looking for) I have tried to mimic their routines but the other grandmother thinks this is silly and not necessary so doesn't share much with me I have tried to establish a special toy or blanket to go back and forth but also rebuffed Am I worrying for nothing Or should I keep pushing for for more

Expert Post Viewd: 3 Posted: 7/9/09 3:50 am Posted by: Replies: 0

security and sleeping

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My daughter is almost 11 months old We have had increasing trouble putting her down for naps We all get home about 4 and she is obvioiusly ready for a nap We put her in her crib and she cries for 10 minutes then is asleep for 10 minutes and wakes up again crying We leave her as long as possible but it seemes to be a never ending cycle of crying and no good nap Along with the increased crying she is wanting her pacifier more and if she finds a spare will hold one in her hand along with the one in her mouth Trying to take either away will result in a tantrum What is the right thing to do Thank You

Expert Post Viewd: 291 Posted: 6/17/09 9:37 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

Need to ask Q

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When should a child be fully potty trained at what age and if not when to you start to worry

Expert Post Viewd: 309 Posted: 6/7/09 3:27 am Posted by: Replies: 1

MIL question again

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Hi you helped me by your response before and now I'm back again So my son is almost 2 and still prefers is grandmother over me when she's around This time to the point of crying because he wants her to put him down and pushing me out of his room when he wakes up because I'm not her It is very hurtful but I know he's just a child and I'm the adult I made a rule that is one mommy thing that I want to always do when she's around and it helps me feel like I am still in some sort of number one mom position I wish if I could just relax and let her do everything when she's around but that just feels like it would be adding to the problem I'm afraid that if I ever went out of town and left him with her for a few days he wouldn't want to come home And yes she was around a lot during his first year of life but not all the time they lived out of town but probably every 2 3 weeks Should I just pick out what mommy things I'm in control of when we're together and let the rest be whatever Sorry to ask questions again but it really stresses me out and I'm a pediatrician for crying out loud My husband is not really any help because he is always number 2 after me thanks so much again

Expert Post Viewd: 301 Posted: 4/5/09 8:27 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

ADD andd friendship

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My son is 13 and was diagnosed with ADD two years ago He is working hard and I am very grateful that he is now getting the help he needs (new school system) He is a very friendly kid but lacks close friends He spends his weekends at his Dad's 30 miles from here He rarley takes advantage of opportunities to meet new friends preferring to stay at home with his Dad I know he has a few friends at school How does it effect a childs social development if that child spends most of his time alone

Expert Post Viewd: 236 Posted: 5/22/09 10:23 am Posted by: Replies: 1

2 Little girls Please Help

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Hello I have two beautifull girls One is 9 months and the older one is 2yrs How do i teach my daughter the right things and is there a way i can tell her so that she can obey me because is has been really mean this past months and im afraid the little one will pick up all the bad things my older daughter does Also what do you thing i should buy them to keep them bussy Thanks

Expert Post Viewd: 331 Posted: 4/20/09 12:55 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

12month old speech

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Hi My son is 12 months and 3 weeks I'm beginning to become a bit concerned about his speech development He has been saying "Da Da" and everyform of it since he is about 6 1/2 months however he still has not said ma ma he does imitate sounds that are made to him and tries to say "thanks" which is not clear and will try to repeat other words or sounds example if a word has 2 syllables even if it doesn't sound like a word he will make 2 sounds but will not try to repeat the M in mama if I say mama he says dada he is pointing and seems to understand some things that are said to him I just want to know if this is normal development or if I should be concerned I should also mention that he was born with a tied tongue which was surgically fixed when he was 7 months old I would appreciate your input

Expert Post Viewd: 323 Posted: 4/2/09 3:38 am Posted by: Replies: 1

behind

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I have a son he just turned one year old this week He seems to be physically behind Now I understand that all children develop differently But there are a lot of things that are behind with him He first of all seems to have little to no balance He sits and is very wobbly even to the point that when he turns his head or bends to the side to pick things up he topples over He does not stand except when held upand will only do this for a few seconds he does not crawl on hands and knees only as a low crawl technique he just started holding his bottle and clapping his hands 2 weeks ago and seems to have his left hand clenched often he has just started to feed himself cereal but only chex size or larger He is a very sociable and happy little boy though babbles a lot loves books toys can roll and low crawl anywhere he wants to I am just wondering is there some sort of therapy that I can do to help strengthen him so that his balance is better and possibly get him to catch up

Expert Post Viewd: 339 Posted: 3/16/09 6:20 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

Five year old does not respect me

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My five year old daughter is very smart and mature Her father and I split amicably before she was born and I moved 500 miles away Her whole life it has been just her and I I believe this has caused her to form a belief that we are equals and that she can make her own decisions She is a good girl most of the time However when she has her bad moments it is very bad She can be extremely defiant I try to tell her to do something and she ignores me as if I'm not even speaking When I finally get her to acknowledge me she'll say No to whatever I ask her to do I try to enforce it by getting down to her level and keeping my voice even and low This doesn't work She simply folds her arms turns her head and says "hmmph " This usually causes me to get more upset and the whole thing escalates into a huge screaming match followed by her telling me she hates me I know that my reactions to her behavior are just making things worse but I am at the end of my rope and I don't know what else to do I've tried time out or the "naughty chair" She literally will not stay on it She will kick hit push and pull and will not stay unless I'm literally holding her in a bear hug the entire time I've tried taking toys games and things away She doesn't seem to notice or be bothered by it I've tried grounding her from her friends This doesn't phase her either I've spanked but all that merits is an increase in her resentment toward me as well as making me feel guilty Oh I've also tried simply talking to her calmly While this helps us avoid the big blowout it nets no results for the future The behavior does not change Don't get me wrong she is not constantly defiant It is about once a week that we have a big argument I love my daughter and I just want to raise a kind and respectful person Any ideas

Expert Post Viewd: 320 Posted: 2/8/09 8:50 pm Posted by: Replies: 2

when will he understand no

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my son is 10 months old and starting to walk me and my wife differ on child safing the house i have a surround speaker system that has to towers next to our entertainment center she wants me to pack them up cause he might pull them down trying to pull him self up on them i told her that if he goes near there to tell him no and move him away from the area she says he is to young to learn the word no in the entertainment center there are all kinds of prttey sparkly things with glass doors i feel if the speakers go so should the entertainment center do to the fact he like to beat on his fake mirrors at himself and on the car windows anytime he see's him self he smacks the reflection and laughs the glass is very thin and it wouldn't take much for him to break the glass in the doors with a toy in his hands or even his head if he stumbles my thought was to get the locking gates that lock together and make a ring of some type with the safe pads on the floor cause we have tile floor through out please help

Michael

Expert Post Viewd: 260 Posted: 3/8/09 1:41 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

potty training

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Hello

I am a mom of a 2 year old and he is starting to take off his dyper when he is wet but he dont tell me in words that he is wet his speach is lackin due to too many ear infections and getting tubes in his ears do i try to start potty trianing or do i wait til he can tell me that he peed or wet i am not sure what to do please help

Expert Post Viewd: 257 Posted: 3/3/09 2:31 am Posted by: Replies: 1

need answers

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When can a woman start feeling the movement of the baby Can A pregnancy not be detected by a doctor Do you believe in miracles and that God can protect the baby where man can not see it Do u believe in living in the natural and the unnatural My Pastor told me that I am pregnant I told him I wasnt I went to the docotor and they said i am not but why is my belly getn round like a basketball and the black line has appeared(my granny calls it the life line) I have 2 kids ages 8 and 10 My tubes where suppose to have been tied but the doc cut a main artery in the process of my c section and all I can here is stitch her up shes losing to much blood so I dont know if they where tied are not For the past 8yrs my stomache has been flat and now I have gained like 30 pounds since Oct and I have always and still is eating like I was for the past 8yrs but i am steady gaining but the docotors can detect the baby so what do u think I want to know whats going on I went to the ER twice to see if they could tell me sumthing but they keep saying no but I look pregnant please help I need to know another step to take I believe my Pastor and I have faith my Husband is also a minister and he said God confirmed my pregnancy to him in a vision this morning I trust in God and this has to be a miracle baby I believe in miracles I dont doubt the messages that God is sending through his servants Thank you for your time and please respond have a Blessed and Prosperous day Mam

Expert Post Viewd: 286 Posted: 2/17/09 3:44 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

6 month old

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My 6 month old cries when i leave the room even if he is with his dad I try laying him down to play but he will start screaming He will wake up in the middle of the night and will not go back to sleep unless I am holding him How can i break him of these habits

Expert Post Viewd: 291 Posted: 2/8/09 9:02 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

Sleeping

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My daughter is 6 months old will be 7 months at the end of this month And is still not sleeping through the night Is there any tips or advice that you could give me I mean she has a daily/nightly routine she gets her belly full she's not to hot/cold I'm not sure what else to do please help Thank you

Expert Post Viewd: 241 Posted: 2/6/09 2:18 am Posted by: Replies: 1

talking

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OUr daughter is now 16 months and she isn't putting words together yet She was slow at saying dada and mama She will say dada mama ba ba da for dog nana for banana ba for bath so on She is very smart though When you ask her where is the ball she will get the ball where is the doggie she know looks at it when you say lets go and change you diaper she will go in the room Things like that She is very smart Is it normal not to put words together yet Also she was slow at walking too She crawled at 8 months and walked by herself at 13 months Should i be concerned

Expert Post Viewd: 294 Posted: 1/31/09 12:56 am Posted by: Replies: 1

attachment

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hello i am in desparate need of some help with an issue regarding my mother in law she has been very involved in the life of my son as my husband and i finished residency during the first year of his life and we relied on her a lot to help i've always felt threatened by her as she is quite overbearing and i've always felt that when she is around she runs the show with regards to my son recently i've addressed this as has my husband letting her know that she needs to back off let me be the mother however frequently my son will cry to go to her instead of his own mother this obviously hurts me and my husband just thinks i need to let it go because there is nothing i can do about it i think that i should try to limit exposure so that he can sort of chill out with regards to that attachment not completely but just stop the twice monthly visits i'm also concerned about my son do you think this has affected him in a negative way do you think that by me trying to space out our relationship a little it will be bad for him and any advice for me am i the selfish mom we're expecting again in october i'm hopeful that the new baby will help spread the love a little as my son is the only grand child thank you so much

Expert Post Viewd: 279 Posted: 1/26/09 11:53 am Posted by: Replies: 1

my oldest son

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hi my oldest son just turned 6yrs old and he's in Kinder grade I'm worried because he doesn't have the appetite for eating i and my husband are having a hard time feeding him hi's picky and he's not really the typical child who loves to eat he doesn't even like fastfood how can i feed him what food will i give him i don't wan't his eating habits affects his school or his social life pls help

Expert Post Viewd: 308 Posted: 2/1/09 3:56 am Posted by: Replies: 1

15 month old wont sleep

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hi my son is 15 months old and the past couple of months has changed his sleeping habits he wont sleep in his bed i help him sleep by rocking him as i have done since he was born then i try and put him in his crib as soon as i go near it he yells and screams so he sleeps in my bed between me and my husband and in the middle of the night we transfer him back to his bed but twenty minutes later he is back to yelling i cant deal with this anymore what do i do with him

Expert Post Viewd: 291 Posted: 1/22/09 2:08 am Posted by: Replies: 1

how many times a day should I be feeding my baby

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I am now in the process of weaning Caden to formula since I'll be going back to work in a few weeks In the past I've nursed him about 6 times a day Now that he is sleeping better at night sometimes we only have time for 5 feedings Since he was a preemie I'm a little nuts about making sure he is getting enough to eat (he's still such a tiny guy) Once he is on strictly formula how many times a day should I be feeding him He's 12 weeks (5 weeks corrected) I'm trying to rearrange his schedule to get him ready for the babysitter and it is making me nuts

Expert Post Viewd: 291 Posted: 1/15/09 1:05 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

My baby is very fussy and sometimes won't nurse

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Where do I begin I feel like I am living a nightmare My 3 month old got her immunizations over a week ago and she had a fever of course She all of a sudden refused to nurse or take a bottle so I attributed that to her shots But took her back to the dr to be sure He said she had a little cold and that maybe she couldn't breathe and that's why she was getting so upset when I tried to nurse but by this time she was taking a bottle just fine So all last week I was having days or episodes where she would nurse fine and times when she would freak out and cry She will nurse on one side and then cry almost inconsolably after that And now she is extremely fussy and cries alot even in the morning I took her back to the dr yesterday thinking/hoping it was an ear infection but it's not He said she might still be getting over her cold or going through a growth spurt I am pumping plenty of milk but I tried to supplement anyway just to see and she didn't want it I just don't understand what happened to my happy content baby And she doesn't seem to be sleeping much during the day either like maybe a total of 2 or 3 hours between 8 am and 5 pm We took her out of daycare and hired a nanny on Jan 5th which is when it seems like this has all started Of course the shots were around that time too I'm on the verge of stopping the breastfeeding and just pumping and give her a bottle but I really don't want to and would like to exhaust all options before stopping I have talked to numerous lactation consultants friends and the dr and can't get an answer and it's wearing me out worrying about why my baby is so fussy and fights me on nursing

Expert Post Viewd: 299 Posted: 1/20/09 3:22 pm Posted by: Replies: 2

8 months sleeping problems

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My eight month old daughter is still not sleeping through the night and will not sleep on her own She has been a very fussy baby due to food allergies (my diet) that we did not get resolved until 6 months She arched and screamed for months whenever she was laid down even elevated So started the cycle of her sleeping in our bed just to get any sleep Many nights I slept with her in the recliner so she would be more upright and comfortable Now that we have her digestive issues on the mend I really want to move her out of our bed and into a crib preferrably in her own room or with her 3 year old sister (always slept alone like a champ) What is the best way to approach this She still wakes up every 3 hours and wants to nurse and wants to sleep not only next to me but touching me She only started eating solids a month ago due to her tummy issues and now just on fruit I think she is ok nutritionally without a night feeding but breaking it from her seems difficult Help

Expert Post Viewd: 250 Posted: 1/6/09 4:42 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

my 8 months old

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Hi Christine My 8 month old doughter start craying and fussing for the second night when we try to put her into bed She is been going to bed with no problems so far and never when put down fussed but would go to sleep right away We are not sure whether she is teething or something else What do you think it could be we are desparate to find the answer

Expert Post Viewd: 247 Posted: 1/21/09 12:34 am Posted by: Replies: 1

Quality of Sleep

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Hello My son Caden is on a schedule for eating/sleeping plus added in White Noise for him while he sleeps and it appears to be working okay so far Caden is a 12 week old preemie (born 8 weeks early) Problem is he has trouble sleeping every few nights or so (by that I mean the quality of sleep) He doesn't cry too much but wakes up every hour grunting/wiggling around After a little while he will let out a cry I know it's not time for him to eat so I can't figure out what is up He sleeps in a bassinet at the foot of our bed so I'll turn around put his pacifier back in his mouth and pat his side a little and then he'll go back down Problem is he will be up again in about an hour sometimes less I just feel like the while noise really helped him the first week but now is not doing much for him Do you have any ideas for what I can do to make sure he stays asleep Here's a typical "good" night/day for us Tell me what you think please

8:00pm Bed Time Routine

8:30 eat

9:00 sleep (lately it's been taking longer to get him down more like 9:30 or 10:00)

2:00 eat

3:00 back to sleep

7:00 7:30 up for day/eat

between 9:00 10:00 nap (around 2 hours)

12:00 eat

2:00 nap (around 2 hours)

4:00 eat

5:30 6:30ish (naps in swing usually have to wake him up b/c he would sleep longer but I'm afraid it will goof up his bedtime)

6:30 eat

8:00 Bed time routine all over again

Look forward to hearing from you

Expert Post Viewd: 259 Posted: 1/14/09 12:13 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

soft spot

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Hi I am worried about our daughter She is 15 months and her soft spot isn't closed yet I had craniosyntosis when I was little and I had surgery My physician told me that our kids had a 50 chance of having it too Our oldest daughter is fine but I asked my Dr and he said as along as the head is still growing he wouldn't be too concerned if the soft spot is not gone yet when she is 18 months What should I do IS the soft spot suppose to be completely closed at 18 months

Expert Post Viewd: 310 Posted: 1/2/09 12:25 am Posted by: Replies: 1

my 3 month son

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I was wondering what kind of things he'll be doing hes already cooing found his fingers

Expert Post Viewd: 302 Posted: 12/30/08 11:31 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

about my 4 month old daughter

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my daughter's daycare lady put's and leave's my daughter on her back all the time because she doesn't cry or fuss only when she cries or fuss's is when she is hungry or need's her diaper changed her father and i noticed on the back of her head but on the right side there is a flat spot on the back of her head that she never had when she was born is that normal and what can i do about that

Expert Post Viewd: 304 Posted: 12/30/08 3:16 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

my baby

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my baby is almost 8 months old he doesnt say nothing yet is this normal my other 2 children was saying stuff by now

Expert Post Viewd: 267 Posted: 12/30/08 11:02 am Posted by: Replies: 1

Bed wetting

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Hello

My son (Aiden) is 5 3/4 years old and wakes in the morning with a very wet pull up He wants too be dry and we do too Aiden has been potty trained since 3 years of age He has never been dry in the mornings We have tried cutting back fluids after dinner (6 p m) His bedtime is 7:30 We have tried waking him every two hours through the night (for a week) He was usually wet prior to going to the toliet during this "trial" We are now using M&M candies for every toilet pee in the night as he loves M&Ms By the morning he usually has 4 5 M&Ms that he has collected but still remains wet in the mornings (By the way he's allowed to eat his M&Ms after breakfast ) It seems that Aiden doesn't get the stimulus to wake from his bladder and sleeps during his "pees "

I hope this caption of our bed wetting challenge makes some sense Perhaps this will correct itself but I thought I might ask an expert first

Thank you for your time and interest

Ann

Expert Post Viewd: 274 Posted: 12/27/08 6:06 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

6 year old attention problem

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I have a 6 year old son in first grade His teacher has told me that he is constantly "spacing out" and not paying attention She will give directions to the class and he will just sit there daydreaming and while the other kids are working he is just sitting there staring and not doing any work She constantly has to "bring him back" by calling his name When he is pushed he can do the work and has done well on his report card So she doesn't think that it's any learning disability but she said that she will be watching him and maybe I should mention this to his pediatrician My question is that if he understands the work what could the learning disability be I am considering it immaturity but does this sound like anything else I should be concerned about

Expert Post Viewd: 300 Posted: 12/19/08 7:35 pm Posted by: Replies: 1

re: separation anxiety

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No i have not received any answer I checked both questions I am getting your responses but no response about ssep anxiety Thanks Lisa

Expert Post Viewd: 374 Posted: 11/22/08 1:45 am Posted by: Replies: 2