Christine Tranchina has been in practice for 27 years, working with families, children, parents and general relationship issues. Her early training first took her to a state funded Family Crisis Center where she worked with families and their children. read more

rss feed

Sign In to Ask a Question Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8   child development expert   Thread Posted by Replies Views Date   My child's sexual curiosity Question My 4 yo's sexual curiosityMy son is 4 ( turning 5 in Aug ) and he recently started to do something that I have no clue as to what or how I handle this I have 2 older children ( 13 11 ) and i have always told them all about their private parts and how no one may touch their private parts They recently moved with their dad so they are no longer in my home with my 4 yo who is the son of my current husband My 4 yo goes in his room or mine and he is very quiet that alone sets up red flags lol So I check on him and now I seem to catch him with his underwear pulled down and he is under the covers and his hair is a mess and his face is flushed I try to ask him if he was touching his privates and he says no I told him it was ok for him to do that its his and he is the only one allowed to see/touch his privates He now knows the correct word for his privates and addresses it as his penis What is he doing I know he is 4 so for him to verbally express what he is doing may be difficult for him How do I find out what he is doing or perhaps you may have a clue I don't want to give him mixed messages so I would love to have another prospective on this Is he old enough to feel pleasure from touching his penis at this age Ahhh please give me a clue lol Answer Toots 1 668 4/23/07 4:38 am   Oops, I am sorry Question For some reason my question was at first put under a Mrs Comez I tried to delete it but it went through anyway I apologize for the inconvience Toots :oops: Answer Toots 1 526 4/23/07 4:40 am   My 4 yo's sexual curiosity Question My son is 4 ( turning 5 in Aug ) and he recently started to do something that I have no clue as to what or how I handle this I have 2 older children ( 13 11 ) and i have always told them all about their private parts and how no one may touch their private parts They recently moved with their dad so they are no longer in my home with my 4 yo who is the son of my current husband My 4 yo goes in his room or mine and he is very quiet that alone sets up red flags lol So I check on him and now I seem to catch him with his underwear pulled down and he is under the covers and his hair is a mess and his face is flushed I try to ask him if he was touching his privates and he says no I told him it was ok for him to do that its his and he is the only one allowed to see/touch his privates He now knows the correct word for his privates and addresses it as his penis What is he doing I know he is 4 so for him to verbally express what he is doing may be difficult for him How do I find out what he is doing or perhaps you may have a clue I don't want to give him mixed messages so I would love to have another prospective on this Is he old enough to feel pleasure from touching his penis at this age Ahhh please give me a clue lol Answer Mrs.Cormz 1 562 4/23/07 4:31 am   sexual curiosity Question Today my 5 1/2 yr old son had the age 5 neighbor girl over to play in our backyard I walked to the front of the house and back in about a minutes time and when I returned he was talking to and facing the girl while they were standing under the swingset I couldn't see her and he looked suspicious I could hear him say "don't tell her" when I walked up I asked what was going on He said "nothing" so I asked her She said "he asked me to pull down my pants" I sent him inside and said I would talk to him later I took care of the rest of the kids and went inside I was horrified This was the second time in less than a year that he has done this My husband handled things last time with a long talk lots of questions etc We thought he understood about private parts being personal I told the girls mom last time and she didn't seem to be too concerned Having three boys I'm unsure of her perspective Upon talking to him later today I found out that he had also touched her on the bottom He didn't take his pants down because "I didn't want to" My son is pretty bright strong willed and yet a little dingy sometimes has a large vocabulary and is used to being the big man in the house with 2 little brothers The girl is fairly immature for her age It scares me that he bullied her that it's the second time he's done it that he touched her this time that he seemed to understand that it's not an appropriate thing to do but did it again I've read many similar questions but the ages have always been off by at least a year I'm not sure how to handle her parents this time or how to be more clear with him My husband laughed at first and said 'it's normal" but I asked how he would feel if it had been his daughter on the receiving end instead I don't know how I would feel Any advice would be greatly appreciated Answer jnv 1 568 4/22/07 8:21 pm   Sexual Curiosity Question I am aware of two sexual encounters my youngest son had with other male children (one his age and one about 3 yrs older than him) about 3 or 4 years ago The older boy was also neighbor and friend of my older two sons (who are 3 & 5 yrs older than little brother) Big brothers know what happened and call little bro 'gay' (either to get a laugh at his expense or make him mad if in an argument) He is really bothered by their name calling (obviously I have asked them to stop but they don't do it when I'm around) He does not want to discuss it (but has with me) but I don't know how common it is for male children to be curious about sex with other males or if there is a line between curiosity and homosexuality In my opinion if an adult male has sex with another male he is homosexual even if he has sex with females Any thoughts Answer Mrs.Cormz 1 526 4/20/07 10:47 pm   concerned mother as well Question I have just about the exact same story as the lady who posted as concerned mother My son is four and will not stop experimenting with other little girls his age What do I do to deter him without shaming him He is so wonderful and thoughtful but at the same time he just keeps experimenting It is starting to affect him socially I fear and it is starting to affect me as well Now one of our neighbors say that he was curious with their son I don't know if I am overreacting missing a simple solution or not doing enough Please help Answer jsbkr 5 619 4/3/07 3:25 am   Sexual Curiosity Question My 4 (almost 5) year old ask the neighbor to pull down his pants He was looking at his bottom The other child's mom saw this whole event and told me about it several days later I freaked out Is this normal I am worrie that my child may need psychological help We had this problem nearly a year ago with other children asking him to do the same We went through alot trying to explain why "privates" are called "privates " Has he forgotten How do we respond or fix the response we already gave which was mommy being obviously "freaked out" and later explaining that it is never okay to ask to see someones private areas Should I be this worried or maybe contact a therapist Answer jchsmom 3 647 4/14/07 3:15 am   how abnormal is it that my child still only wants to play with me? Question my recently turned 4 year old still only really wants to play with me he expresses interest in going to see various kids in the neighborhood but when we go to see them he often ends up seeming rather bored with them my son's interests are drawing intricate mazes building complex train track layouts and buildings out of legos he even uses ribbon as electrical wires I think his interests are just completely different than the kids on our block who are into Pokemon and other various tv shows such as batman etc We don't watch tv but he's got the option now and then if he wants to which he doesn't Do you think he'll start to have more in common with kids once he is of kindergarten age It just seems that his language skills and interests are setting him apart a bit too much Even when we do play with other kids (which absolutely love to play at our house) I seem to have to be more involved than I would expect at this age He's my first but we've always been around these other kids in the neighborhood and the park since he was an infant They range in age from 3 7 and at times in the past couple of years his interest has waxed and waned just curious if I can expect some more signigicant changes during the next year and a half of his development before he starts school Answer theresa2007 1 546 4/17/07 4:57 pm   heart broken Question I have been up all night after findingout from my fourteen year old daughterthat for the last month her ten yearold brother has been touching her breast when she is asleep at night inher room It happened four or five times My husband and I both talkedto both of them and my son is very sorry as well as my daughter very forgiving I feel numb about it and can't seem to do anything I never sawanything like this coming We have a pretty happy family most of the time I will say for about the last three months my daughter has been extremelyrebellious and gotten in trouble a lot I read somewhere that when your attention is on one child that can cause another to feel like their needsare not being met and can lead to suchthings as what happened The reading also mentioned that most children however do not respond in the way my son did (touching his sister) so I justkeep asking why and even though they forgave eachother are we really backto normal or is that ever possible sincerely so scared Answer Mrs.Cormz 1 547 4/10/07 6:20 pm   He won't eat!! Question My 12 month old will not eat Other babies in daycare with him along with others eat everything that is put in front of them He only wants cereal out of the bottle Every once in a while I can get him to eat a few fries and maybe some cheese puffs Other than that he only wants the bottle Bue he does use his sippy cup and a straw What can I do to get him to eat His pediatrician told me to just keep putting it in from of him Oh and he loves to eat anything made of paper Help Answer tears0 1 529 4/11/07 10:45 pm   is my child bright for her age ? Question I am not sure if I should be doing anything to help my child or get her tested at this point My child is 23 months and is talking sentences and has been talking for awhile she now says her numbers 1 11 says ABC's and colors and shapes loves reading and will bring me books all day to read has an excellent memory and copies very hard words and remembers them weeks later I know many of these are normal and every kid develops at different rates but many people have commented on how bright she is should I get her into some program or just keep helping her learn on my own Answer haleysmom 1 553 4/10/07 11:20 am   11 mth old won't eat chunky/thicker foods Question My son has just turned 11 months old and still eats stage 2 jarred foods I've tried to get him to eat thicker stage 3 foods but will gag with each bite and has even threw up a few times I've fed him diced bananas and eats them with ease I'm just curious as what else is ok to give him Are any type of soups ok to give him What other types of foods do you suggest to ease him into more thicker chunky foods Thank you for you time Answer anativebeauty 2 765 11/21/06 7:11 pm   my daughter is curious as well Question I have an eight year old daughter that at the age of 5 requested that the little boy next door show her his privates Then last year the same thing only with a different boy Well this past week the school called and she along with another girl and a boy proceeded to pull thier pants down on the playground She is now eight and even thogh I have had many discussions with her because of the past issues she really does not seem to get that it is wrong help me to explain that her private parts are private as well as others Does this pattern mean that it will continue should I be concerned (I am a mess about this) Answer mrsT 2 535 4/10/07 12:29 am   4 1/2 year old girl and clothing battles Question I have a little pre school girl who fights everyday to extreme about clothing issues Pants shirts socks shoes It is either too tight twisted or just feels funny I have bought many clothes and returned them because she refuses to wear them for one reason or another Her clothes are getting too small and I am exhausted with this battle I believe she has issues with "the feel" of her clothes but on the other hand she is being very strong willed How can I end these battles Answer eaubnlart 1 522 4/5/07 12:34 pm   Want to keep my past from my kids Question I suffered sexual and emotional abuse as well as neglect by my parents I tried having a relationship with them and my extended family (who defend my parents) but it was toxic for me I estranged myself from my entire biological family and feel good about it especially since I now have 2 kids I must protect The problem is that my 5 year old daughter is starting to ask questions like "Where are your parents Do they live far away What are their names " etc We are very close to my husband's family my daughter obviously realizes she should have 2 sets of grandparents Up to this point I change the subject when she asks these questions bc I don't want her to know anything about what happened to me or about my family ever That worked ok until a couple of weeks ago now the questions are coming almost daily Any advice Answer jacobpaige 4 564 4/5/07 4:46 pm   next baby after twins Question I have 10 month old twins and was wondering the best time to have another baby I'm 43 and we have frozen embryos waiting for us so I don't want to wait too long because of my age I want to be fair to our beautiful twin girls and allow enough time between the new baby and their first year or two of development Is there an age you'd recommend the twins be before we have another child If I wait until this June to conceive the next baby the twins will be over 2 years old when the baby is born Is that a good age for them to have another sibling Answer momtotwingirls 2 793 1/4/07 2:27 pm   Co-Sleeping Question Hello My son is 3 months old and he has been sleeping in our bed since he was a few weeks old At first we thought that it was easier and that he slept better but now it seems like he has just gotten used to it He doesn't sleep in his crib much just for a little while in the afternoon Is there anything you can suggest I would love some alone time with my husband Thanks Cali Answer babyluv 1 547 4/4/07 7:57 pm   A child's sexual curiosity Question Christine I have a 7 year old boy with these same problems it started when he was about 2 years old with his cousin They started touching eachother and has escalated over the years Now the situation has got worse where my son is now touching other boys and girls private areas with interest there has even been a situation where the girl kissed his and he kissed hers Now I'm freaking out because I feel that there might be something wrong with my son however he is the nicest and kindest child you could meet I don;t know how far normal goes with children he is my first and only Please any advice would be great Answer concernedmother 2 622 3/31/07 1:27 am   A child's sexual curiosity Question Dear Christine I got a call from my sister who was frantic about what she had just discovered Several weeks ago she walked into her 7 year old son s room and found him naked with his 5 year old male cousin discovering each other She didn t think much of it at that time there was a discussion on private parts being private and he was grounded to discourage such behaviors However she has learned since that it wasn t the first time that this has occurred several times since she caught him Today her neighbor complained to her that she had caught my nephew with 2 other kids his age naked in their playhouse Our family physician wasn t much help Her answer was to basically monitor We have several question:1 is this normal 2 how do we deal with this 3 should we investigate further Could this be a sign of sex abuse that he s exposed to from other kids in school daycare etc 4 should we seek therapy for our nephew Thank you in advance Sincerely Mike Answer cedars 8 1313 10/29/06 4:09 pm   immunization Question hi i need to know the danger associated wth me not giving my child the wooping cough immunizations Answer flakky 1 519 3/31/07 4:35 pm How to break the co-sleeping habit! Question I am a fan of the attachment parenting however my daughter is now 5 and I think that it is time for her to sleep in her own bed in her bedroom She has woken up in the middle of the night every night since she has been born practically But when she was sleeping with us it was no big deal because I could just calm her and she went back to sleep next to me She has an 18mo old brother who has slept through the night in his crib since he was about 4 months old Hallelujah I thought that since she doesn't want to sleep alone that if I put the two of them in the same room she would be ok What do you think How long does it take to change this habit Thanks Tiffany Answer tiffn2ntow 1 747 3/31/07 11:41 am   4 year old sudden behaviour changes URGENT Question My daughter is 4 and 4 mos She recently was moved from the 3's to the 4's in preschool and we have been having problems ever since The other students started 6 months ago and her teacher is pressuring her to catch up with the other kids in writing/math and reading skills My daughter cries every morning and also anytime the word school is mentioned She is fearful frustrated and sad I encourage her and work with her on her school lessons but nothing decreases her anxiety The teacher is not accomadating and I am seriously considering changing her school Would this cause MORE undue stress My daughter was such an outgoing confident easy going girl and now she is anxious tearful and angry It's been 8 weeks and I see no improvement Thanks for your insights Answer Christine Berg 2 613 3/27/07 3:34 pm   3 yr old. boy i babysit Question I have been watching a three year old boy for about 8 months when i first started watch him he wouldn't respond to his name when I would call him I have three of my own children 5 4 and2 yrs old I'm concerned because he doesn't know how to put his own pants sock or shoes on Even my youngest can do this he also can't eat with silverware and doesn't know how to take his own shoes off He turned 3 in march and is just now starting to potty train him her doctor said that if doesn't get it to put him back into diapers I love watching him butit is hard because he can't do anything for himself where as my two year old is potty trained and dresses and feeds her self The mother took him to the doctor and she said the doctor said that it is normal to not be able to do things for himself and i find that very hard to believe Am I right or wrong Answer expecting 1 560 3/29/07 2:20 am   Thumb sucking Question I'm sure you've been asked this a million times but I just stumbled on this board a few days ago and wanted to ask your opinion Is it best to let a child stop sucking their thumb on their own or is it better to force them to stop My daughter is 21 months and sucks her thumb only when she is sleepy or sad I bought some special bitter nail polish to put on her thumb to stop her from sucking it but I tried it and it was soooo VILE It made my mouth and nose burn so I sent it back It seemed very cruel Are there more humane ways of doing this or should I let her suck until she quits on her own Answer YakMama 2 584 3/22/07 1:33 am   Sexual Curiosity among children Question I have an 8 year old and a 5 year old both girls I am very good friends with another mother who has one son (only child) who is also 8 years old Our children play together often Recently I found out from my younger daughter that when the children were watching a movie in the boy's room and my older daughter went out of the room the boy invited my younger daughter under the blankets and showed her his penis I told the other mother about this as soon as I found out LAter while discussing this with my husband my older daughter admitted that she and the boy had "played doctor" when they were 5 The incident with my older daughter does not bother me so much as I feel they were younger and are peers But the one with my 5 year old did bother my husband and me My husband asked me to ask the other mother to impress on her son that this can not happen again Well when I talked to the other mother about it she said that these children are innocents there was no malice who knows what the true story is she had already talked to her son about it and told him it was inappropriate (he told her he didn't remember the incident it was 4 months ago) She was naturally very defensive and felt I was calling her son a pervert I told her that I know children are curious (including my own children) but that I wanted to make sure her son understood that this was not allowed and that it did bother me that her 3rd grader intentionally waited until my 3rd grader was out of the room to do this that I did feel like he had some sense that my other daughter is younger and therefore possibly easier for him to influence in some way I don't feel he had any real intentions of hurting her but I do feel like he took advantage of the situation Am I wrong in feeling like he is getting a little old to be doing this kind of thing Answer twogirlmom 11 779 3/9/07 12:36 pm   My 8 Year old Saw me Having Sex Question Last night my 8 year old son walked in on me and my husband having sex He came in the room and both of us just stopped what we were doing and did not know what to do I told him to go back to bed He said "what are you doing " We just fumbled over ourselves not knowing what to say My husband went into my sons room afterwards and told him that we had just taken a shower but my son said he saw more than that What do we do What d we say Will he be ok Answer Lize B 2 1037 1/19/07 11:43 am   Child Birth Question Is there a cute story that explains how a baby is born My son is 9 years old and he wants to know how the baby gets the genetics to look like his mom or dad and he wants to know where the baby come from Answer Mz. Care 1 583 3/16/07 5:39 pm   Help Question I just wanted to know if anyone would be interested in joing a penpal/secret sister group This one right now is for mommies and mommies to be I learned about this from a board I have joined and I thought it was really cool This particular penpal/secret sister group will run from the beginning of April till the end of August Then in August we will all learn who are penpal/secret sister is Then you can decide if you want to stay penpals I know it can be a little expensive but it doesnt have to be There is a 20 max But every week you don't have to spend that Write a letter and put a little something special in it A special thing you made or sometimes you can find that is inexpensive but means a lot If you are interested email me at jandreasen ncn net and I will send the questionaire you need to fill out Please let me know asap so I can forward it to my "helper" I will not be the one personally matching up the sisters I want to play too :P Please tell your friends Forward this to them Or give me their email address This will be more fun with the more people we get Answer jenjam4j 1 623 3/5/07 2:25 pm   HOW CAN BE THE CONFLICT IN THE FAMILY WILL AFFECT THE CHILD? Question Hi Ijust want to know what is the cinflict in the family that can affect the child and how the child acts if there is a conflict in here family Answer rubychild702 1 546 3/16/07 12:38 am   child development Question what stage of development should a four year old child be at in reading and writing Answer momofone 1 585 3/9/07 9:35 am Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Important Note: All the information provided by our experts should be confirmed and consulted with by your healthcare provider. Realsavvymoms.com takes no responsibility nor does it make any me dical claims against your current health. Realsavvymoms.com does not claim to be an authority on medical information. The information you receive on this website should not be used as 'advice' and you should always consult your healthcare provider before making any changes or taking any action regarding your health.