Christine Tranchina has been in practice for 27 years, working with families, children, parents and general relationship issues. Her early training first took her to a state funded Family Crisis Center where she worked with families and their children. read more

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Sign In to Ask a Question Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8   child development expert   Thread Posted by Replies Views Date   My 4 year old son refuses to listen Question I have a 4yr old son who until about a year ago was the best behaved child (we were able to take him anywhere without him pitching fits etc ) Now however he seems like a different child I know he is expressing his independence from his father and me but he gets very unruly I have tried everything to get through to him When I ask him to do something he just ignores me until by the 4th or 5th time it isn't asking it is yelling at him to do it (and I usually get a not so nice tone back telling me all I had to do was ask) I feel like such a horrible mother sometimes He starts PreK next month and I am worried he won't listen to his teacher and will be sent home (when I say if your teacher tells you to put your toys away what do you do And he will tell me he has to put the toys away) He is a very intelligent little boy and I know he understands what I ask him to do and that is what is frustrating What can I do to make all our lives easier My mother thinks he is still jealous of his little brother even though he never really acted out back then (I know that older siblings can get jealous when a new baby comes into their home but it has been 2 yrs wouldn't he be over that by now ) I am sure he would be happier if we didn't fuss at him so much but how do we get there Please tell me there is hope and possibly this is just a PHASE Answer JillyBean1971 1 464 7/20/07 2:25 pm   Son/Daughter Question My Son molested my stepdaughter 3 years ago will they ever be aloud to see eachother again Please respond i need help Answer iluvjtaylor9903@aol.com 1 505 7/10/07 8:28 pm   How to know if its too far? Question I need help understanding when too much is indeed too much Let me start by saying I have a 4 yo son (my one and only) and an almost 14 yo step son (we get weekends and summers) Recently my son (the 4 yo) told me that he and his brother play penis' (shake sqeeze and touch each others but mostly he touches his brothers) and I need to know when too far is too far Some of the family thinks it is "normal" (I still have a hard time with that) and some are agreeable in the fact that the 14 yo should know it is not right I grew up in a very modest home and try to instill morals and values and dont want to cause a big stink but how do you know when to react I don't know if we need to talk to someone or not I am very confused and just need advice on how to handle this Anything would be welcomed at this time Thank you in advance for your input Answer ccaatwmn 1 477 7/4/07 8:52 pm   Problem with 4 years old kid Question I'm facing problems in handling a 4 year old student in my preschool: 1 He always ignore teachers' orders and calling 2 He likes to run around and the teachers have to go and catch him back to the place where he sits After a while (less than 2 mins) he will do the same thing again 3 He often disturbs others in the classroom by pulling their hairs sitting on their laps drink their water put food on their head and etc 4 He likes to take others belonging like bag pencils books and even the teacher's handbag And when the teacher tries to go and take back the things he will run away with the things and smile at the teacher 5 Now he likes to put things inside his mouth and chew such as rubber band shapener eraser and etc We have been trying so hard talked to him nicely explained to him that his behavious is not allowable encouraged him when he behave good yelled at him talk to his mother about his behaviour and etc etc but he still acting as before And now all of us are really scratching our heads in handling this child What should we do Answer Carine 1 500 6/27/07 9:41 am Mean Kids on Playground Question I have a 2 yr old son and earlier today he was playing with a 4 year old girl in a playplace My fiance looked in on them and saw the girl pushing and shoving my son around The girl's mom didn't see anything so we didn't say anything Before the girl left she pushed my son into the wall and made him cry By the time I got to the door she ran past me to her mom's car My question is what do I do about something like this Do I say something to the child or parent or do I tell my son to just defend himself The father and I are so confused on what to do in this situation Please help Answer dorkgirl83 1 639 7/2/07 2:06 am   Sexual Curiosity Question The other morning when I went to wake my 7 year old son he had on my underwear and several other pairs under his pillow I had been out the night before while my mother watched him He had taken some underwear from a friend's daughter about 8 months ago and I found them in his backpack I asked him if he was curious or had questions about his body or a girl's body but he said no He really couldn't tell me any reason why he wanted the underwear or was wearing them Is this normal Should I take him to a professional to talk to I have never heard of this and don't know what to do about it Any input would be greatly appreciated Thanks Answer lmch1600 1 511 6/25/07 2:50 pm   premature infant Question my son was born 5 weeks early Are their any delays I should look for in his development What other things should I consider Answer chance27855 1 486 6/13/07 1:01 pm   Sleep less nights Question :crib: My daughter is 5 month she DOES NOT sleep If i'm luck she will sleep for 15 minutes during the day and sleep for 3 4 Hrs night Is her behaviour normal Is there anything that I can give her to calm down Answer Bridgette 1 566 6/1/07 10:26 am   wont sleep without me Question my baby is a little over a month old and she wont sleep without me most of the time i rock her and hold her for more than 30 minutes each time and then i lay her in her basinet she then wakes up immediately and wails till someone comes and soothes her and picks her up i dont know what to do should i let her cry or should i wait more till she falls asleep i hate that she cries likes she does when she is in her basinet but i need time to do what i have to do while she sleeps throughout the day and night please help me Answer MamaBear1221 1 487 6/13/07 7:53 pm   hates her carseat.. Question my baby is a little over a month and when we go in the car she doesnt like the carseat she cries and screams till someone either picks her up or comforts her i know she needs to stay in the carseat but what do i do i know i cant hold her while i drive and i cant keep stopping every 10 to 15 minutes to comfort her i dont have the time please help me Answer MamaBear1221 1 482 6/13/07 7:56 pm   wondering Question My 2 year old son for the past week does not want to sleep in his crib We have a "big boy" bed for him but we think its to soon to switch him to it Is he just acting out or is he ready for a big bed any thoughts or input is appreciated thanks :sleeping: Answer jjca05 1 471 6/17/07 3:44 am   Sleeplessness Question My daughter is 5 months she hardly sleeps if im luicky she will take a nap for 15 minutes during the day and at night she sleeps for about two three hours Is her behaviour normal is there any anything that I get do to help her calm down and sleep longer Answer Bridgette 2 510 6/1/07 10:23 am   premature infant development Question chance27855 0 416 6/12/07 10:06 pm   Our 4 1/2 year old daughter Question Hi I'm 23 weeks pregnant and we are having a girl I did have a miscarriage in December and she is so worried that something is going to happen to this one We keep encouraging her that everything is ok She went to my parents for the night and she wanted to come home because she wanted to see "mommy" Which she wants to be with her "baby sister" but after a while she was ok with my parents Why is she so worried i can't wait until we have this baby then she won't worry anymore but for the time being what can we do Thanks Lisa Answer Lisa 1 536 5/31/07 12:19 am   3 year old lying Question Hi My son is a pretty well tempered 3 1/2 year old However over the past few weeks I've noticed that he has begun to lie when he perceives that he "might" be in trouble for example "she did it" or "I didn't do it" or "nothing" when asked "what are you doing " I am not a totalitarian mother I don't spank my child I TRY not to scream (of course I do sometimes ) and I don't think I've ever scared him when he did something he shouldn't have done Today we played a TRUTH game and I realized he didn't even know what it meant when I've been saying "Tell mommy the truth " So telling him not to lie and to tell the truth is not really working What can I do Thanks Answer lpmom 1 563 5/17/07 7:05 pm   5 year old in shower with 2 year old son Question Ok so this is really embarresing to ask or even tell but I am really trying to figure out the best way to address this issue My 5 year old DD often takes showers with my 2 year old DS and I always thought it was fine until I walked in tonight after leaving literally for a second to find my DD "sucking/kissing" my 2 year old DS penis I was shocked I did not get angry I calmly told her that was not appropriate took her out of the showers and had the whole our bodies are special and only for us to touch etc So my questions are was that an correct response and why in the world would she do that Was it just harmless curiosity Please help Answer nettybar 1 532 5/24/07 5:46 am   6 year old daughter Question Tonight I caught my 6 year old daughter and her 7 year old friend doing inappropriate things like touching eachother and kissing I told her that this was not appropriate I asked my daughter why she was doing that and if she had seen it somewhere She says no The friend says she has seen it on tv They point fingers at eachother and says the other person told them to do it There story changed alot when confronted I dont know how to handle this because I dont know if this is normal or abnormal I got really upset and did not handle the situation well I think I made her feel bad but I dont know why she does this We monitor her and what she watches and so I dont know why she is trying to relate to adults I am divorced and so she goes to her father's house every other weekend and he lives with his girlfriend and 6 year old little girl there My daughter claims that this little girl taught her to do this I am really confused what to believe because she doesnt tell the truth I know she is not being sexually abused and she does not watch TV shows on this how do I handle this kmier Answer kmier 1 502 5/26/07 3:13 am   Is it normal for 5 -8 year olds to experience sex Question My daughter just told me at her age of 27 that her brother 28 used to hump her when they were between 5 8 approximately He did not remove his clothes except to show her his penis He would hump on her with his pants up I guess he never entered her I went through sexual abuse from age 9 17 1/2 with my dad I know that I never touched my kids inappropriately but some how feel responsible Is this inherited or is it norma I was blown away by this news that she told me today She is a teacher of specila ed children and just as of a few weeks ago she has started having some issues flaring up and ha s been taken to mental health 2 times She is gay and I am not sure if the childhood experience has some effect on her I have always felt that she was just born this way but now I am questioning my beliefs She was always afraid to tell me about this until now My son that did this is a very intelligent young man with a fantastic job with the railroad is married and has a daughter about 2 years old Should I worry about this or is it normal Please help me Answer mommyofthree 1 580 5/29/07 12:41 pm   When to Start Potty Training Question I dont want to force my 1 1/2yr old to potty train and I havent even bought a potty for him yet But lately he has been wanting to sit on the toilet and actually uses it His Dr says that it is too early to start training what should we do I feel that I dont encourage him now he might loose interest but I am also aware of the backlash of trying to potty train too early Answer DSAJGA 1 587 5/14/07 11:43 pm   my 4 year old wont listen Question My husband and I are pulling our hair out she is so out of control I dont know how I will deal with her when she's older She hits me when i tell her to do something or she will tell me "no" I have tried everything spanking time out taking things away and corners I know when i was a chid a good spanking always straighten me up but i really dont like to inflick pain on her I haven't even put her in school yet because I dont want thye teachers to go insane What should I do Answer Jessie.Rayot 1 743 5/9/07 9:27 pm   Christine, please respond....thank you Question I am the mother of a wonderful 4 year old boy He is really a happy boy and very sweet and usually good but I am having a huge problem making him listen I have to tell him to do thing over and over (especially at the dinner table) and I feel like I am constantly giving him time outs etc His teachers are telling me that he just won't listen at school/daycare and that he is distrupting the classroom He is very high energy and is doing typical "boy" things like jumping off tables etc and always getting into trouble I don't know what to do and how to make him listen to me his teachers or any adult for that matter Please help Answer livriz 2 563 5/10/07 4:15 pm   Information please Question Hi i am getting really worried about my son he is 3yrs in July and all i can get him to eat is chicken nuggets Macaroni cheese but a frozen kind (stoffers) toasted cheese sandwiches and veggie corn dogs yogurt and apples He was sick in hospital about a year ago with a bad gastric flu and since then he just wont eat anything else he did eat great before he got sick i have tried everything i make sure i didnt give him any kind of snacks and sat there with him trying to get him to eat a healthy meal i have tried putting other stuff he wont eat on his plate hoping he will touch it i bought a toddler reciepe book and tried stuff in there you name it i have tried it and now its got to the point where he will just get so upset and other moms think i am a horrible mother because he wont eat a normal meal like there children i give him vitamins everyday and he is a normal weight please help me i feel so bad i have read so many books and web pages on different things to do and nothing worksThanks Answer MONKEY2126 1 515 5/10/07 1:23 am   Hi Question I am about 6 months along and I was wondering if the med's my doc's have given me are going to hurt my baby They have me on Hydrcodine and some other things I had to go to the hospital the other night for spotting and the nurse in there acted like they were going to take my baby for having these things in my system but I haven't taken anything my doc hasn't given me Answer inlovethatlong 1 501 5/10/07 3:19 am   My child's interest in privates Question I've been reading all the posts on this topic and am feeling a little less alarmed My son's interest seemed to start around 3 The daycare had informed me that several of the kids had been "checking each other out " From there there have been multiple incidents between him and his cousin over the last 2 years My concern is that I have handled it all wrong and that we are still dealing wtih this 2 years later The first time he got "caught" I really flipped out because we had already calmly talked about privates being private after the daycare incident and then I caught his cousin touching him I know yelling was not the right thing to do but I was absolutely shocked He's never been caught since but sometimes seems guilty so I jump to what I think is a natural conclusion and we have the discussion about privates all over again No matter how I handle it it doesn't seem to be the right way When will his curiosity subside and how do I handle this going forward Answer Jessie.Rayot 1 562 5/6/07 10:15 pm   Drug addiction Question My sister in law has been divorced for two years now She has a five year old son my nephew and his father has recently gotten into trouble with the law He has addiction problems with alcohol and drugs He is now facing jail time We live far away now and my children are no longer in contact with their ex uncle However we are visiting in the next few days and I am concerned about my word usage with my nephew who talks to me about many things and for my children who still adore their "memories" of an uncle My children overheard me talking about the situation with my husband and I told them that their uncle made "bad choices" and that I was just angry What do I say if anything to my nephew and how should my sister in law approach this issue My sister in law has discipline issues (major) with him He has anger aggression and other issues with authority figures as it is So much so that we have had major disagreements on how she allows him to behave towards us and other adults as well as our children She constantly asks for my opinion On this issue I thought that honesty was the best policy as long as she is using age appropriate descriptions I was thinking of telling my children that their uncle has an illness (addiction) and that he made extremely bad choices However eventually he will be in jail and my nephew will have to visit him there (more than likely) The ex was caught buying drugs selling drugs and then was in a car chase with the police So that is where I am stuck I am unsure of how to explain that he is in jail due to this behavior and I don't want the kids to think that one goes to jail for being "ill" either Please help I am in need of some word usage Should we say that the police are getting help for him and although I will be able to shelter my own children from the details with living further away; I want to be prepared for the future when talking with my nephew Thank you Answer jsbkr 1 493 5/9/07 1:47 pm   My son and his cousin Question Christine I found out today that my 9 year old son and his 8 year old boy cousin have been touching each other Tonight they had their hands down each other's pants touching each other till they were both erect My son has told me that they have engaged in this behavior quite a few times in the past I am trying not to freak out Please advise as to whether this is "normal" or not and how to handle it Answer Jessie.Rayot 1 573 5/5/07 5:17 am Brother/sister sexual curiousity (not sure how this posted under someone elses user name?? weird.) Question Hi Christine I've read the other posts about sexual curiousity but none touched exactly on our situation I have a 6yo DS who has had two incidents when he was 5 with a friend's also 5yo DS The first time it was the other 5yo asking mine to take his pants down and the second time it was a mutual thing We had the private parts talk both times and I managed to handle it quite well I have to admit it was difficult as I was molested at age 11 and my mind immediately worried the worst had happened to him After talking with my sis (who is a nurse) and doing some research online I saw it was normal behaviour for the age and moved on After what just happened tonight though I'm pretty freaked out I heard my DS and my newly 4yo DD talking about playing "boyfriend" I walked back to his room and caught my DD naked from the waist down and showing her brother her privates I was shocked And I'll admit I handled it badly at first but managed to calm myself down and did some damage control What I could get out of him was that he "told her not to listen to him" but to get naked and hug each other Apparently they've done this a few other times and have "tickled" each others private parts He also told me he knew it was wrong and seemed ashamed that he had done it I'm going to take some advice you gave to another poster on here and talk with him again in the morning I didn't handle it as well as I could have tonight and want to try to do more damage control Also after talking with him I don't feel there has been anything that has happened to him to bring this on I need to hear a professional's take on this Please help ease my mind Do you think this is still considered normal behaviour Answer OneBizEMomma 3 1053 5/4/07 2:07 am   sex play Question A neighbor called last night and said that my son who is 8 told her son 7 that if he wanted to be in the club with my son and another boy then he had to put his mouth around his penis for 2 seconds My son pulled his penis out which was hard and the 7 year old put his mouth on it for 2 seconds He later told his mom My sons explanation was that the other friend showed him that a long time ago and he said it was a club He was very ashammed and knew it was wrong thats why he told the 7 year old not to tell How much of this is normal Thanks Freaking out Answer Robin 1 632 5/2/07 5:03 pm   4 year old , does not listen Question My 4 year old daughter wont listen My concern is when told to do any job even going to the restroom she delays it doing nothing just stand and stare around Told to clean her room will stand and look at me if told to do some coloring will put her head down and wont even hold the crayon properly I am getting too concerned for her teachers in school tell me that she is not interested in running around and playing What do I do Answer Concerned New Mom 1 629 4/26/07 4:55 pm Preschool wants to evaluate my 4 yr old Question Hi My 4 year old son is in his 2nd year of pre school He loves to play with his 2 year old sister and has an incredible imagination He has a best friend at school that he plays with most of the time he is there Unfortunately his friend has some language/development issues and the teachers are worried that they spend too much time together Additionally my son didn't really speak until he was 3 but speaks fine now He is very shy in social situations and does not like to approach other kids to play I feel it's just his personality but the school is pushing me to get him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician My daughter has an exceptional vocab so I do see the difference in them But she is very outgoing and he just is not What do I do Thank you He does have incredible patience and attention span He loves movies and often will play out scenes from the movies to himself Answer fadas 5 1142 3/14/07 10:18 pm Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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