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Ask a Child Development Expert Christine Tranchina has been in practice for 27 years, working with families, children, parents and general relationship issues. Her early training first took her to a state funded Family Crisis Center where she worked with families and their children. read more

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 child development expert
  Thread Posted by Replies Views Date
  security and sleeping more less Question My daughter is almost 11 months old   We have had increasing trouble putting her down for naps   We all get home about 4 and she is obvioiusly ready for a nap   We put her in her crib and she cries for 10 minutes then is asleep for 10 minutes and wakes up again crying   We leave her as long as possible but it seemes to be a never ending cycle of crying and no good nap   Along with the increased crying she is wanting her pacifier more and if she finds a spare will hold one in her hand along with the one in her mouth   Trying to take either away will result in a tantrum   What is the right thing to do   Thank You
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abruns 1 291 6/17/09
9:37 pm
  Need to ask Q? more less Question  When should a child be fully potty trained at what age and if not when to you start to worry
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jenn62868 1 309 6/7/09
3:27 am
  MIL question again more less Question Hi you helped me by your response before and now I'm back again   So my son is almost 2 and still prefers is grandmother over me when she's around   This time to the point of crying because he wants her to put him down and pushing me out of his room when he wakes up because I'm not her   It is very hurtful but I know he's just a child and I'm the adult   I made a rule that is one mommy thing that I want to always do when she's around and it helps me feel like I am still in some sort of number one mom position   I wish if I could just relax and let her do everything when she's around but that just feels like it would be adding to the problem   I'm afraid that if I ever went out of town and left him with her for a few days he wouldn't want to come home   And yes she was around a lot during his first year of life but not all the time they lived out of town but probably every 2 3 weeks   Should I just pick out what mommy things I'm in control of when we're together and let the rest be whatever   Sorry to ask questions again but it really stresses me out and I'm a pediatrician for crying out loud   My husband is not really any help because he is always number 2 after me   thanks so much again
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elizwill 1 301 4/5/09
8:27 pm
  ADD andd friendship more less Question My son is 13 and was diagnosed with ADD two years ago He is working hard and I am very grateful that he is now getting the help he needs (new school system) He is a very friendly kid but lacks close friends He spends his weekends at his Dad's 30 miles from here He rarley takes advantage of opportunities to meet new friends preferring to stay at home with his Dad I know he has a few friends at school How does it effect a childs social development if that child spends most of his time alone
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beyondmycontrol 1 236 5/22/09
10:23 am
  2 Little girls Please Help!!!!!!!! more less Question Hello I have two beautifull girls One is 9 months and the older one is 2yrs   How do i teach my daughter  the right things and is there a way i can tell her so that she can obey me because is has been really mean this past months and im afraid the little one will pick up all the bad things my older daughter does Also what do you thing i should buy them to keep them bussy Thanks
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mommieof2 1 331 4/20/09
12:55 pm
  12month old speech more less Question Hi My son is 12 months and 3 weeks I'm beginning to become a bit concerned about his speech development He has been saying "Da Da" and everyform of it since he is about 6 1/2 months however he still has not said ma ma he does imitate sounds that are made to him and tries to say "thanks" which is not clear and will try to repeat other words or sounds example if a word has 2 syllables even if it doesn't sound like a word he will make 2 sounds but will not try to repeat the M in mama if I say mama he says dada he is pointing  and seems to understand some things that are said to him I just want to know if this is normal development or if I should be concerned   I should also mention that he was born with a tied tongue which was surgically fixed when he was 7 months old   I would appreciate your input
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mare 1 323 4/2/09
3:38 am
  behind more less Question I have a son he just turned one year old this week He seems to be physically behind Now I understand that all children develop differently But there are a lot of things that are behind with him He first of all seems to have little to no balance   He sits and is very wobbly even to the point that when he turns his head or bends to the side to pick things up he topples over He does not stand except when held  upand will only do this for a few seconds he does not crawl on hands and knees only as a low crawl technique he just started holding his bottle and clapping his hands 2 weeks ago and seems to have his left hand clenched often he has just started to feed himself cereal but only chex size or larger   He is a very sociable and happy little boy though babbles a lot loves books toys can roll and low crawl anywhere he wants to   I am just wondering is there some sort of therapy that I can do to help strengthen him so that his balance is better and possibly get him to catch up
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xmasmom 1 339 3/16/09
6:20 pm
  Five year old does not respect me. more less Question My five year old daughter is very smart and mature   Her father and I split amicably before she was born and I moved 500 miles away   Her whole life it has been just her and I   I believe this has caused her to form a belief that we are equals and that she can make her own decisions   She is a good girl most of the time   However when she has her bad moments it is very bad   She can be extremely defiant   I try to tell her to do something and she ignores me as if I'm not even speaking   When I finally get her to acknowledge me she'll say No to whatever I ask her to do   I try to enforce it by getting down to her level and keeping my voice even and low   This doesn't work   She simply folds her arms turns her head and says "hmmph "  This usually causes me to get more upset and the whole thing escalates into a huge screaming match followed by her telling me she hates me   I know that my reactions to her behavior are just making things worse but I am at the end of my rope and I don't know what else to do   I've tried time out or the "naughty chair"   She literally will not stay on it   She will kick hit push and pull and will not stay unless I'm literally holding her in a bear hug the entire time   I've tried taking toys games and things away   She doesn't seem to notice or be bothered by it   I've tried grounding her from her friends   This doesn't phase her either   I've spanked but all that merits is an increase in her resentment toward me as well as making me feel guilty   Oh I've also tried simply talking to her calmly   While this helps us avoid the big blowout it nets no results for the future   The behavior does not change   Don't get me wrong she is not constantly defiant   It is about once a week that we have a big argument   I love my daughter and I just want to raise a kind and respectful person   Any ideas
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Hyacynth 2 320 2/8/09
8:50 pm
  when will he understand no more less Question my son is 10 months old and starting to walk me and my wife differ on child safing the house i have a surround speaker system that has to towers next to our entertainment center she wants me to pack them up cause he might pull them down trying to pull him self up on them i told her that if he goes near there to tell him no and move him away from the area she says he is to young to learn the word no in the entertainment center there are all kinds of prttey sparkly things with glass doors i feel if the speakers go so should the entertainment center do to the fact he like to beat on his fake mirrors at himself and on the car windows anytime he see's him self he smacks the reflection and laughs the glass is very thin and it wouldn't take much for him to break the glass in the doors with a toy in his hands or even his head if he stumbles  my thought was to get the locking gates that lock together and make a ring of some type with the safe pads on the floor cause we have tile floor through out please help  Michael
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tylercoy 1 260 3/8/09
1:41 pm
  potty training more less Question Hello I am a mom of a 2 year old and he is starting to take off his dyper when he is wet but he dont tell me in words that he is wet his speach is lackin due to too many ear infections and getting tubes in his ears do i try to start potty trianing or do i wait til he can tell me that he peed or wet  i am not sure what to do please help
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saphire 1 257 3/3/09
2:31 am
  need answers more less Question When can a woman start feeling the movement of the baby Can A pregnancy not be detected by a doctor Do you believe in miracles and that God can protect the baby where man can not see it Do u believe in living in the natural and the unnatural My Pastor told me that I am pregnant I told him I wasnt I went to the docotor and they said i am not but why is my belly getn round like a basketball and the black line has appeared(my granny calls it the life line) I have 2 kids ages 8 and 10 My tubes where suppose to have been tied but the doc cut a main artery in the process of my c section and all I can here is stitch her up shes losing to much blood so I dont know if they where tied are not For the past 8yrs my stomache has been flat and now I have gained like 30 pounds since Oct and I have always and still is eating like I was for the past 8yrs but i am steady gaining but the docotors can detect the baby so what do u think I want to know whats going on I went to the ER twice to see if they could tell me sumthing but they keep saying no but I look pregnant please help I need to know another step to take I believe my Pastor and I have faith my Husband is also a minister and he said God confirmed my pregnancy to him in a vision this morning I trust in God and this has to be a miracle baby I believe in miracles I dont doubt the messages that God is sending through his servants Thank you for your time and please respond have a Blessed and Prosperous day Mam
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Chocolate chip 1 286 2/17/09
3:44 pm
  6 month old more less Question My 6 month old cries when i leave the room even if he is with his dad I try laying him down to play but he will start screaming He will wake up in the middle of the night and will not go back to sleep unless I am holding him How can i break him of these habits
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brbrmier 1 291 2/8/09
9:02 pm
  Sleeping more less Question My daughter is 6 months old will be 7 months at the end of this month And is still not sleeping through the night Is there any tips or advice that you could give me I mean she has a daily/nightly routine she gets her belly full she's not to hot/cold I'm not sure what else to do please help Thank you
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RebeccaLaw 1 241 2/6/09
2:18 am
  talking more less Question OUr daughter is now 16 months and she isn't putting words together yet   She was slow at saying dada and mama She will say dada mama ba ba da for dog nana for banana ba for bath so on   She is very smart though   When you ask her where is the ball she will get the ball where is the doggie she know looks at it when you say lets go and change you diaper she will go in the room   Things like that   She is very smart   Is it normal not to put words together yet   Also she was slow at walking too   She crawled at 8 months and walked by herself at 13 months   Should i be concerned
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Lisa 1 294 1/31/09
12:56 am
  attachment more less Question hello   i am in desparate need of some help with an issue regarding my mother in law   she has been very involved in the life of my son as my husband and i finished residency during the first year of his life and we relied on her a lot to help   i've always felt threatened by her as she is quite overbearing and i've always felt that when she is around she runs the show with regards to my son   recently i've addressed this as has my husband letting her know that she needs to back off let me be the mother   however frequently my son will cry to go to her instead of his own mother   this obviously hurts me and my husband just thinks i need to let it go because there is nothing i can do about it   i think that i should try to limit exposure so that he can sort of chill out with regards to that attachment not  completely but just stop the twice monthly visits    i'm also concerned about my son do you think this has affected him in a negative way   do you think that by me trying to space out our relationship a little it will be bad for him   and any advice for me am i the selfish mom   we're expecting again in october i'm hopeful that the new baby will help spread the love a little as my son is the only grand child   thank you so much
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elizwill 1 279 1/26/09
11:53 am
  my oldest son more less Question hi my oldest son just turned 6yrs old and he's in Kinder grade I'm worried because he doesn't have the appetite for eating i and my husband are having a hard time feeding him hi's picky and he's not really the typical child who loves to eat he doesn't even like fastfood how can i feed him what food will i give him i don't wan't his eating habits affects his school or his social life pls help
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mav 1 308 2/1/09
3:56 am
  15 month old wont sleep more less Question hi my son is 15 months old and the past couple of months has changed his sleeping habits he wont sleep in his bed i help him sleep by rocking him as i have done since he was born then i try and put him in his crib as soon as i go near it he yells and screams so he sleeps in my bed between me and my husband and in the middle of the night we transfer him back to his bed but twenty minutes later he is back to yelling i cant deal with this anymore what do i do with him
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laura 1 291 1/22/09
2:08 am
  how many times a day should I be feeding my baby? more less Question I am now in the process of weaning Caden to formula since I'll be going back to work in a few weeks   In the past I've nursed him about 6 times a day   Now that he is sleeping better at night sometimes we only have time for 5 feedings   Since he was a preemie I'm a little nuts about making sure he is getting enough to eat (he's still such a tiny guy)   Once he is on strictly formula how many times a day should I be feeding him   He's 12 weeks (5 weeks corrected)   I'm trying to rearrange his schedule to get him ready for the babysitter and it is making me nuts
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Caden's mommy 1 291 1/15/09
1:05 pm
  My baby is very fussy and sometimes won't nurse more less Question Where do I begin   I feel like I am living a nightmare   My 3 month old got her immunizations over a week ago and she had a fever of course   She all of a sudden refused to nurse or take a bottle so I attributed that to her shots   But took her back to the dr to be sure   He said she had a little cold and that maybe she couldn't breathe and that's why she was getting so upset when I tried to nurse but by this time she was taking a bottle just fine   So all last week I was having days or episodes where she would nurse fine and times when she would freak out and cry   She will nurse on one side and then cry almost inconsolably after that   And now she is extremely fussy and cries alot even in the morning   I took her back to the dr   yesterday thinking/hoping it was an ear infection but it's not   He said she might still be getting over her cold or going through a growth spurt   I am pumping plenty of milk but I tried to supplement anyway just to see and she didn't want it   I just don't understand what happened to my happy content baby    And she doesn't seem to be sleeping much during the day either like maybe a total of 2 or 3 hours between 8 am and 5 pm   We took her out of daycare and hired a nanny on Jan 5th which is when it seems like this has all started   Of course the shots were around that time too   I'm on the verge of stopping the breastfeeding and just pumping and give her a bottle but I really don't want to and would like to exhaust all options before stopping   I have talked to numerous lactation consultants friends and the dr and can't get an answer and it's wearing me out worrying about why my baby is so fussy and fights me on nursing
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new mommmy 2 299 1/20/09
3:22 pm
  8 months sleeping problems more less Question My eight month old daughter is still not sleeping through the night and will not sleep on her own She has been a very fussy baby due to food allergies (my diet) that we did not get resolved until 6 months She arched and screamed for months whenever she was laid down even elevated So started the cycle of her sleeping in our bed just to get any sleep Many nights I slept with her in the recliner so she would be more upright and comfortable Now that we have her digestive issues on the mend I really want  to move her out of our bed and into a crib preferrably in her own room or with her 3 year old sister (always slept alone like a champ) What is the best way to approach this She still wakes up every 3 hours and wants to nurse and wants to sleep not only next to me but touching me She only started eating solids a month ago due to her tummy issues and now just on fruit I think she is ok nutritionally without a night feeding but breaking it from her seems difficult Help
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ekfeinner 1 250 1/6/09
4:42 pm
  my 8-months old more less Question Hi Christine My 8 month old doughter  start craying and fussing for the second night when we try to put her into bed She is been going to bed with no problems so far and never when put down fussed but would go to sleep right away We are not sure whether she is teething or something else What do you think it could be we are desparate to find the answer
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mandziuk 1 247 1/21/09
12:34 am
  Quality of Sleep more less Question Hello   My son Caden is on a schedule for eating/sleeping plus added in White Noise for him while he sleeps and it appears to be working okay so far   Caden is a 12 week old preemie (born 8 weeks early)   Problem is he has trouble sleeping every few nights or so (by that I mean the quality of sleep)   He doesn't cry too much but wakes up every hour grunting/wiggling around   After a little while he will let out a cry   I know it's not time for him to eat so I can't figure out what is up   He sleeps in a bassinet at the foot of our bed so I'll turn around put his pacifier back in his mouth and pat his side a little and then he'll go back down   Problem is he will be up again in about an hour sometimes less   I just feel like the while noise really helped him the first week but now is not doing much for him   Do you have any ideas for what I can do to make sure he stays asleep   Here's a typical "good" night/day for us   Tell me what you think please 8:00pm Bed Time Routine 8:30 eat 9:00 sleep (lately it's been taking longer to get him down more like 9:30 or 10:00) 2:00 eat 3:00 back to sleep 7:00 7:30  up for day/eat between 9:00 10:00 nap (around 2 hours) 12:00 eat 2:00 nap (around 2 hours) 4:00 eat 5:30 6:30ish (naps in swing usually have to wake him up b/c he would sleep longer but I'm afraid it will goof up his bedtime) 6:30 eat 8:00 Bed time routine all over again Look forward to hearing from you  
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Caden's mommy 1 259 1/14/09
12:13 pm
  soft spot more less Question Hi   I am worried about our daughter   She is 15 months and her soft spot isn't closed yet   I had craniosyntosis when I was little and I had surgery   My physician told me that our kids had a 50 chance of having  it too   Our oldest daughter is fine but I asked my Dr and he said as along as the head is still growing he wouldn't be too concerned if the soft spot is not gone yet when she is 18 months   What should I do   IS the soft spot suppose to be completely closed at 18 months
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Lisa 1 310 1/2/09
12:25 am
  my 3 month son more less Question I was wondering what kind of things he'll be doing hes already cooing found his fingers
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js11012002 1 302 12/30/08
11:31 pm
  about my 4 month old daughter more less Question my daughter's daycare lady put's and leave's my daughter on her back all the time because she doesn't cry or fuss only when she cries or fuss's is when she is hungry or need's her diaper changed her father and i noticed on the back of her head but on the right side there is a flat spot on the back of her head that she never had when she was born is that normal and what can i do about that
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momto2littlegirls25 1 304 12/30/08
3:16 pm
  my baby more less Question my baby is almost 8 months old he doesnt say nothing yet is this normal my other 2 children was saying stuff by now
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cilla 1 267 12/30/08
11:02 am
  Bed wetting more less Question Hello My son (Aiden) is 5 3/4 years old and  wakes in the morning with a very wet pull up He wants too be dry and we do too Aiden has been potty trained since 3 years of age He has never been dry in the mornings We have tried cutting back fluids after dinner (6 p m) His bedtime is 7:30 We have tried waking him every two hours through the night (for a week) He was usually wet prior to going to the toliet during this "trial"  We are now using M&M candies for every toilet pee in the night as he loves M&Ms By the morning he usually has 4 5 M&Ms that he has collected but still remains wet in the mornings (By the way he's allowed to eat his M&Ms after breakfast ) It seems that Aiden doesn't get the stimulus to wake from his bladder and sleeps during his "pees " I hope this caption of our bed wetting challenge makes some sense Perhaps this will correct itself but I thought I might ask an expert first Thank you for your time and interest Ann
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ann 1 274 12/27/08
6:06 pm
  6 year old attention problem more less Question I have a 6 year old son in first grade   His teacher has told me that he is constantly "spacing out" and not paying attention   She will give directions to the class and he will just sit there daydreaming and while the other kids are working he is just sitting there staring and not doing any work   She constantly has to "bring him back" by calling his name   When he is pushed he can do the work and has done well on his report card   So she doesn't think that it's any learning disability but she said that she will be watching him and maybe I should mention this to his pediatrician   My question is that if he understands the work what could the learning disability be   I am considering it immaturity but does this sound like anything else I should be concerned about
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vgiannisis 1 300 12/19/08
7:35 pm
  re: separation anxiety more less Question No i have not received any answer   I checked both questions   I am getting your responses but no response about ssep anxiety   Thanks   Lisa
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Lisa 2 374 11/22/08
1:45 am
  Separation anxiety more less Question Our daughter is going to be 14 months on the 25th   She just started to have sep anxiety for about 2 months now When we go over to my mom and dads house she won't even go to either one of them   My mom and dad babysit once a week   She used to go to then all the time but now she won't   My husband and I went out for the night last Friday and she cried and screamed for about 40 minutes with my parents   I'm sure this is all normal but is it really normal   How long will this last   I feel bad that she won't go to anyone except my husband or I   Just let her cry it out right   Thanks
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Lisa 1 377 11/10/08
11:40 pm
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