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Debra Gilbert Rosenbergis the author of The New Mom’s Companion: Care for Yourself While You Care for Your Newborn, a guide for first time mothers to help them adjust to the many emotional, relationship, identity, and physical changes that accompany motherhood, published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in April, 2003, and Motherhood Without Guilt: Being the Best Mother You Can Be and Feeling Great About It, a book that helps mothers become more self-accepting and confident about their motherhood, also published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in October, 2004. read more | |
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4/5/2009
8:42 pm |
Hi,
I saw that you answered a similar question before, but wanted to get your opinion on my situation please. my almost 2 year old prefers one person to me, my mother in law, and whenever she is in town, then he will cry if i try to put him down for sleep, now pushes me out of his room if i'm the one who comes to get him from his nap. she was frequently visiting during his first year of life, every 2-3 weeks or so, therefore he is very comfortable with her. it just really hurts my feelings and i don't know the best way to handle it. i don't want to just roll over when she's around and let her take over, as she is a pretty dominant personality and this has happened in the past and probably helped the situation arise. but i also want to know the best way to handle my own feelings of rejection by my son. when she's not around, he basically treats his father the same way, only wanting me a lot of the times, so i'm not getting a lot of support from him about this. i wish if this were something that i thought he would outgrow but it's been several months now and he will cry to go to her from me. any advice would be helpful. we're having another baby in october, and i definitely will set more limits on the amount of grandma acting like mom occurs with our next. i'm a working mom also and he does not do this it all with his daycare providers who love him dearly. thank you. |
4/6/2009
1:56 pm
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It is likely that your son loves you every bit as much as Grandma, but that Grandma, because she visits less often, gets to be all about fun. Also, if you pay more attention to your son when his Grandma is around, he may be going to her in part to get that extra attention from both of you.
Your feelings are normal, but hard to manage. If you can't find a way to feel better about all this, it might be that you have some unsettled feelings about being a working mom. Are you not sure that you have enough time with your son? SO you feel that when you are home, you have too much other work to do to be able to play with your son as much as you'd like? Or as much as you believe he wants?
Facing these feelings of jealousy is the first step. Understanding what exactly bothers you is the next. If your mother-in-law is .... Read More  |
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