Debra Gilbert Rosenbergis the author of The New Mom’s Companion: Care for Yourself While You Care for Your Newborn, a guide for first time mothers to help them adjust to the many emotional, relationship, identity, and physical changes that accompany motherhood, published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in April, 2003, and Motherhood Without Guilt: Being the Best Mother You Can Be and Feeling Great About It, a book that helps mothers become more self-accepting and confident about their motherhood, also published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in October, 2004. read more

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Sign In to Ask a Question Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5   behavior expert   Thread Posted by Replies Views Date   naps Question my baby is almost 9months old and i can't get him to take a nap i am very frustrated and don't know what to do please help Answer eeyore29 1 527 2/28/07 4:25 pm   10 yo son's behavior Question Hello Dr Borba Thank you for fielding our questions :)My 10 yo son is in 4th grade He struggles (and has since Kindergarten) with behavior problems at school Benjamin is one of those kids that everyone "loves" but that causes distractions in class due to lack of focus and being overly social He's extremely polite and respectful his grades are phenomenal and he's got personality to spare And when he misbehaves whether at home or at school he shows sincere regret so it's not that he doesn't "care" While I don't want to sound like a parent who makes excuses for her child's behavior I think it's a well known fact that many young boys are active energetic and dare I say unfocused His dad and I have tried to impress upon him the importance of respecting his classmates his teacher and texthimselftext enough to be a more focused student He struggles with minor infractions on a weekly basis (never mean or aggressive playing with erasers doodling folding paper) Now unfortunately he seems to be feeling like a failure because of it He's terribly frustrated and says he knows better and doesn't know why he doesn't remember all the discussions we've had with him We maintain open communication with his teacher whom I feel is appropriately involved She blames much of it on class size (26 students) and the fact that Benjamin falls into that category of students whose intentions are good but they're easily swayed by others with poor behavior I've asked her to reposition his desk to the front of the room (where he did well earlier in the year) so he won't be so tempted to chat with friends So I guess my question for you is how can Benjamin's dad and I (and his teacher) best help him stay controlled and focused I'd like him to understand that although some behavior is perfectly acceptable when at home or on the playground it is not appropriate in the classroom I've tried to keep this brief believe it or not Thank you for your time Susan Answer Mom from WI 2 582 2/15/07 6:04 pm   My Nephew Question Hello I have a 3 year old nephew Jesse I don't know him that well me my husband and our 2 year old daughter just moved here and my sister is close enough to where we can visit on Sundays Jesse just turned 3 and they can't get him to speak in full sentences He puts a "g" in front of all of his words Like if he wants cereal it's "gereal" or juice is pronounced goose My 2 year old is aactually helping him talk better The other problem they have is that my sister works 2 jobs She works all week and is tired by the time she gets home and passes out on the couch She has two older boys 8 and 16 The 16 year old watches Jesse alot Dad doesn't work He stays home with Jesse I'm not there that often to see much of how he acts I just know that my sister has told me that Jesse controls the house Mom does't punish him Dad does Mom doesn't really do much since she works all through the week and on weekends at her 2nd job She doesn't get a day off I'm thinking it may just be that her problem is that she doesn't step up Her husband drinks alot and has beaten her before I don't think he has ever beaten on the kids I know it's none of my business but it is She's my family and I know she wants help The beating from her husband well I told her what she needs to do but how does she take care of Jesse Any advise would help please Answer BananaMommy 2 565 2/23/07 5:09 pm   my 3yr old daughter... Question I'm hoping you can help me understand how my daughter is feeling We told her when we were 4 months pregnant that she was going to have a baby brother At first she was excited We didn't bring it up to often because we didn't want her to feel like we were letting this new baby take over when he wasn't even born yet She came to a few appointments with us and seemed genuinely interested We've even bought her books about being a big sister and she seems to like it but I'm not sure if she gets it Sometimes though she'll make the odd negative comment about her new unborn brother and I'm not sure why She'll say things like I wish my baby brother wasn't here I'll tell her that he's not here yet but he'll be coming in 2 months Then I'll ask her why she's saying that and she says that she doesn't know I'll ask her if she's going to be a big sister and also help mommy with her baby brother and she says yes I'm having a hard time reading her She's always been a mama's girl and am trying to get her to realize that daddy is also there for her but lately daddy doesn't seem to be good enough Please help Answer hopeful 1 556 2/23/07 3:55 am   sleeping through the night Question My son is 18 months old and has been my little angel since the day he was born only problem is both me and my husband can not stand to hear him cry when he is upset This has lead to a sleep problem as he does not sleep through the night he wakes up once or twice a night for a breast feeding or cuddle We are both feeling a little sleep deprived and would like to get him on a better sleep routine especially so that we can leave him with a sitter on occasion But when we have tried to cut out the night time feeding he cries and gets very upset until we give in It seems like it is breaking his heart and breaking ours in the process We both have issue of abandonement from our parents and we don't want our son to think he can't count on us always and the only advice we get from other people is we have to let him cry it out but that just sounds so mean Is there any more loving ways to get him to sleep all night Answer 1 612 2/16/07 5:09 am i need help! Question i am having a hard time having physical contact of any kind with my husband i dont want to be touched in any way shape form or fasion what is wrong with me i need to know if there is an explanation so that i can save my relationship by the way i am 7 weeks Answer heatherd20 1 889 2/17/07 1:45 pm   can a toddler be stress Question hey my name is tabitha i have a 2 year old son he had a hard life me and his dad use to fight in front of him him and and my 10 month girl was took from us cause of fighting he been with my sister and girl be with my step sister we get them back in march right now we have them thursday to sunday night but my son thinks he at home when he comes and then when we take him back it whole new story he cries tires to hurt his self yells me and my husband and his sister he stay sick he been with my sister almost 5 months 2 weeks he has not been sick the rest the time he been sick is that stress people tell me toddlers can't get stress Answer tabitha2007 1 658 2/5/07 4:32 pm   Re: my 13 year old son's behavior Question My son is thirteen years of age He is so angry at me and tells me that he hates me We have been in physical encounters because he does not want to follow the directions that I give him I signed him up in a boot camp he has seen a psychologist and a social worker but his attitude is not getting any better His grades are okay they could be better What can I do to help him to improve his attitude and respect towards me Is there something I did wrong as a caring parent Please help Any advice will be appreciated Thank you Tanisha Answer charese0821 1 678 1/26/07 4:04 am   question about nephew Question I have a 6 year old nephew who has a 3 year old sister In the past few years he has developed an attitude a need to have the last word tattle taling telling lies to make himself look good and that's just at home He has gotten into trouble in school for hitting kids his age on numerous occasions He is highly intelligent reading at a grade 3 level and is very good at memorizing and asks a lot of questions because he's curious Ever since he was 2 3 you had to give him warning or an itenery for the day/week to let him know in advance what was going to happen or whatever the plan was He used to be spanked as well could this be a reason for his lashing out at school He also has his moments when you sit down and talk to him if he's done something wrong he tries to lay blame on the other kids saying they hit him first and he's the one who got caught trying to hit back My sister doesn't know what to believe anymore Other times he seems receptive to conversations He also has very intense outbreaks where he kicks and screams if you put him into a room to isolate him from other kids when he's misbehaving He kicks doors throws things around the room etc My sister has tried taking things away from him as a form of discipline and punishment but they work for a few weeks and then he doesn't care anymore My sister is at a loss as to how to handle him let alone find out what is triggering all of this Answer hopeful 1 613 1/24/07 3:14 pm   My 10 year old son Question I have been having problems with my 10 year old son I can't figure him out his problems He always blames on someone or he did by accident He is attending after school day care he is already got in trouble many times Always have to push calling names and more He is growing up with out father I have noticed that things are getting worse the time I get things away from him even when I gave him Play station he promissed to behaved but he is not keeping his promised at all What can I do more to change his way of behavior Please help me maybe any organizations how help or have a tutor for him to spend time after school Answer Lana 2 784 1/10/07 11:21 pm   Sibling Rivarly Question Michelle I have two boys a 7 year old and a 3 year old My 7 year old son is always trying to antagonize his younger brother It is so annoying because the 3 year old ends up screaming and then the 7 year old gets punished It is constant what can we do to get him to stop Answer WebGrl Mom 1 784 12/6/06 2:06 pm   My baby is a bully Question Hello and happy holidays I have a question in regards to my youngest son Manny (2 5 yrs) I have 3 children My oldest son is 11 yrs old my daughter is 4 yrs and then my youngest mentioned above I am having a very hard time with my youngest I find that he is very aggressive and abusive towards me and my daughter Arielle He is constant beating on her and my this I mean he is scratching her pulling her hair jumping on her and the worst is biting her and leaving scars behind I don't know what to do because I never experienced this behaviour with my other two children Sometimes I joke around and say that Manny is like an abusive boyfriend he has two sides to him at one moment he is so sweet and caring he is very loving and affectionate but then out of nowhere he turns on one and attacks Its like we are walking on eggshells aroung Manny because no one know what sets him off I don't want to have to seperate my kids because I see that they love playing together but the minute I turn my back I hear my daughter screaming for help Aside from telling her to move away when Manny tries to attack her there is not much I can say to her I don't want to teach her to defend herself and fight him back because that will only make him more angry and he will hurt her more Can you pls let me know why a child at this age is so aggresive is it something that we have done I give each of my children the same amount of attention and affection so I know it is not a jealousy issue with Manny I am especially concerned because I am pregnant with my fourth child and I hope it won't continue with the new baby I just need help with dealing with Manny I am worried that this behaviour will continue to his teenager or adult years and he may turn out to be an abusive person thanksMaria Answer MARIA 2 767 12/29/06 1:54 pm   My baby is a bully Question Re: My baby is a bullyThank you for getting back to me I will try to incorporate some of your suggestions As you said all kids are different My oldest is a very quiet preteen who is starting to get a bit of an attitude but I have been able to handle it so far my daughter Arielle is a handful too but in an entertaining way and then Manny is the sweet loving baby of the family with a few issues that I mentioned before We have been dealing with this aggression problem for a few months now at his previous daycare he had a serious biting problem he bit many kids and even drew blood at one point The daycare teachers were baffled because they couldn't understand or see any warning signs of his anger he would just strike out and bite but then once he realized what has done and that he hurt someone he would be the first trying to console the other child by hugging and saying "that's okay" Is that strange or is it guilt We have tried time outs but with the other kids around it doesn't seem to work the only warning signs I noticed is when he gets in trouble doesn't get what he wants or Arielle doesn't want to give him a toy Then I can see him getting very quiet and lowering his head down but still keeping his eyes on me Sometimes to cope with his anger we just give in but I don't want him to learn that he needs to behave this way to get what he wants Since his previous daycare we transfered the two younger kids to a different daycare his biting and anger problem doesn't arise in this new daycare we haven't had any problems in this new daycare however he doesn't socialize with the other kids nor is he vocal with the teachers he is very capable of talking but he just doesn't do it over there The only time Manny really plays with anyone is when they merge the Preschools (manny's class) and the kindergardens(Arielle's class) Then he spends all his time with her Is this normal for a child so young to behave this way being non social and agressive thanks Maria MARIA 0 678 1/2/07 5:28 pm Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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