Debra Gilbert Rosenbergis the author of The New Mom’s Companion: Care for Yourself While You Care for Your Newborn, a guide for first time mothers to help them adjust to the many emotional, relationship, identity, and physical changes that accompany motherhood, published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in April, 2003, and Motherhood Without Guilt: Being the Best Mother You Can Be and Feeling Great About It, a book that helps mothers become more self-accepting and confident about their motherhood, also published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in October, 2004. read more

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Sign In to Ask a Question Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5   behavior expert   Thread Posted by Replies Views Date   7 and scare of EVERYTHING Question My son is 7 years old and he seems to be scared of everything but at the same time nothing He is scared to sleep in his own room He will not go into the other rooms of the house without one of us with him He has his 4 year old brother follow him around the house and if his brother leaves a room my 7 year old is following less than 2 feet behind him If my 4 year old is not available to accompany him then he will carry the cat around with him Anything to keep from going to a room by himself we have lived here for 3 years so everything is very familiar to him No changes have been made in his life But I feel so sorry for him When he does go to another room he runs even during the day It is making us crazy trying to figure out how to help him PLEASE HELP US HELP HIM Thank you Sincerely Star Answer Star 1 368 9/3/07 2:30 am   personal comments Question Will my comments or questions be posted If I wanted them answerd secretly by an expert Answer momotp 1 394 8/28/07 12:27 pm   Help please Question My son will be 4 in october and his behavior is getting out of control he has become overly agressive when he wants something and we tell him no he throws a total tantrum including kicking screaming destroying things and even raising his fist I have no clue what to do Is there something mentally wrong or is there some other way to get him under control we want to get him into a preschool program but because of his behavior i am afraid to also his speech is a little slow and i have been considering taking him to some kind of speech therapy It just saddens me because i feel like i have done something wrong Answer bblondie84 1 366 8/31/07 1:10 pm   concerned Question My daughter has had repeated situations were she will take boys her age and much older into bathrooms or bedrooms to exchage looks at each others privates She is six years old and she has done this with boys from her age on up to eleven years old She is always the aggressor and does the coeursing to hide and examine I have never heard of this kind of behaveor from little girls Any time that my family is at a function with other kids around I feel that I have to watch her like a Hawk It happened again last night at a gathering with friends and I am at wits end and do not know what to do I have had little success finding information on this kind of thing and any information or suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated Answer CD 1 402 8/12/07 4:08 pm   adoption Question how do i get over the depression of giving up my son for adoption   3 weeks ago i placed my son up for adoption i have 2 small girls at home as well ages 3 and 1   couldnt afford another child at this moment i feel im pushing my fiancee away and neglecting my children   help me please Answer babiesangel 1 419 8/2/07 12:21 pm   Disciplinary problems with my 24 month son Question Hi I'm 27 year old woman and I have a 24 month son I guess is going through terrible 2's Here is my situation his father has been in jail since he was 1 month and I just recently got involved with a long time friend since jan of this year and we are now expecting our 1st child together in November 2007 my boyfriend has been there for my son since he was born and now lives with me so really he has been the only man in his life When I try to discipline my son he does not listen and I'm really getting stressed out because I feel I have no control over him His natural father aunt keeps him allot for me and she has really been allot of help and now that I'm working she keeps him also but recently this pass month she has been complaining about him screaming and when he can't get his way and I feel that it now a problem with her wanting to watch him My son really LOVES her and when I come to pick him up he does not want to come with me and he falls out and carries on She made a comment to my boyfriend why does he act like that when we pick him up and what are we doing to him when he is with us which offended my boyfriend and me due to I'm having discipline issues with him and I really need help understanding how to approach her about the situation and it hurts me that she might feel that I'm a bad mother what am I doing wrong and how can I make peace with situation Mrs Rosenberg Answer tummygirl 1 429 8/6/07 4:42 pm   Is my son's attitude really this bad? Question I have a 2 year old son he will be 3 in October He has the worst attitude ever The father and I are at the point where we do not know what to do with him anymore He does not listen to us at all We cannot take him to resturants stores and anywhere else for that matter He throws fits throws things screams puts things off of shelves and other things that make grocery shopping a nightmare We have asked other people and they link his behavior to living with other people We have had some hard times and were living with my parents and now we are staying with my sister and her boyfriend I am not sure if that is the reason for him attitude but it is getting really hard to have a good day with him When I tell him to do something or ask him to stop something he just looks at me funny and continues with his behavior My question to you is what do we do for him We are at the point where he spends more time in the bedroom on time outs more than we spend quality family time with him Its like war here everyday and I am at my wits end Please help Answer dorkgirl83 1 401 8/1/07 1:06 pm   Son too embarrassed for hugs & kisses Question My son Cameron will be turning 8 in September   Over the last 3 or 4 months he has not wanted me to give him hugs or kisses ESPECIALLY in public   One day when I was dropping him off at school he asked me to "not embarrass" him by kissing hugging or "fake" kissing him   What is your advise on dealing with the situation   It hurts my feelings but I don't want to alienate him either   PLEASE HELP Answer dznybelle 1 375 7/27/07 5:23 pm   Tall tales from a 4 year old Question I know that kids have very active imaginations and often lie when they are afraid of getting into trouble But my step sons lying has gotten out of control I don't know to get him to stop I no longer believe anything that he says to me Everything is a lie Even when he gets caught he still sticks to his guns with the lie One night at a family gathering he was pouding on the doors as hard as he could and was asked to stop by his dad I was sitting not 5 feet away in plain view of him when he did it again He dad came back and Tyson started to scream and say that it was his cousin who did it I saw him do it His cousin wasnt even there I quitely told his father what I saw and Tyson was confronted about it and told that I was there and saw it and he still denied doing it We explained to him that if he tells us the truth he wont get into as much trouble He even tells lies when there is nothing to get in trouble with He will look me in the eye and say that his daddy never buys him any toys (not even when we are in a store where he wants a new toy but just sitting in the living room playing with his toys) and he will honsetly believe himself even though the 4 toy boxes are overflowing with toys This morning is when I became fed up though I got up this morning to find our new puppy completely soaking wet I asked Tyson what happened he said nothing I asked why she was wet he said he didn't know I then asked if he got her wet he finally said yes And then continued on telling me that she asked him (using real people words so he says) to give her a bath in the kitchen sink that is full of dirty dishes and a knife I put him in the corner and told him that he could come out when he told me the truth He was still in the corner when I left for work He swears that the dog told him to do it I even went out and got the Veggie Tales movie "The Fib From Outerspace" which is great to explain what lies are and why they are bad and he absolutely loves the movie and always wants to watch it but his lies have still gotten worse Please help me I am at my witts end with his lies Answer Not-quite Mommy 1 433 7/26/07 4:55 pm   Is This Really My Son? Question Hello My son age 23 has been distant and angry with me since his father and  I divorced ten years ago   Shortly after his father moved out of the family home my son decided to live with his father full time even though we had joint custody   That was the beginning of my isolation with my son   His father is a wealthy man and provided my son with a car cellphone and other expensive toys that  I could not afford as an artist   In the last 10 years I have seen my son approximately 10 housrs   He would occasionally come to holiday dinners and leave   Now that he is in graduate school in another state he has returned home twice now and not even called or visited me I was a stay at home mom by choice   I really loved the experience and was a great mom   Having been a former school teacher I clearly understood the emotional stages that my children went through which helped me be a better mom   Conversely I am perplexed as to me son's behavior Can you offer any suggestions   Judith Answer 1 417 7/25/07 4:57 pm   3 year old son wont go to the pot and he's not talking Question My 3 year old son is not going talking he sings spongebob and he says some words but he's not talking like a child he's age should be He is very intelligent he know what he wants and what he doesn't want He knows how to play video games I dont know what to do He doesn't want to go to the pot some times he cries when I put him on the pot My husband has sat with him for hours on the pot and he still wont go I am now 7 weeks pregnant and I refuse to have a 4 year old in diapers Answer michelle 1 374 7/23/07 8:12 pm   Am I Paranoid? Question Every since I had my son who is now 2 1/2 I go through phases and get really scared and paranoid of things that could happen to him or my self and no one would be there to care for him I sometimes bring myself to tears thinking about 'what if I lost him' Is this normal I never use to think about these things I have become so attached since I quit working full time but  I don't want to think negative I am usually very entergetic and happy with my son but then sometimes I just start thinking about this awful stuff How can I stear my mind away and think postive thoughts about the wonderful times I get to share with him This actually makes me scared to have anymore kids because I don't want more to worry about   Answer MFries 1 371 7/24/07 3:33 am   Am I Wrong? Question My mother and I have very different views on parenting When I was little I feared my mother and did until I became a young adult As a child I walked the straight and narrow because I knew if I made her mad I was going to get a spanking and sent to my room I so feared her that I never talked to her about anything for fear I would be in trouble I do not want that with my daughter I want her to respect me not fear me My daughter is 2 1/2 years old when she is acting inappropriately I correct her by telling her to stop if she doesn't stop I tell her again stop and tell her she will get a spanking and time out and I begin to count to 3 If she still doesn't stop she gets a spanking and time out for 2 minutes I tell her why she is setting in time out as I sit her down and again before she gets up This is where my mom says I'm not doing things right She says I don't spank hard enough and that I should be more forceful with my voice when speaking to her My daughter is very stubborn and gets in trouble more for throwing fits when she's told no She is also very repetitive with behaviors she gets in trouble with However I think what I am doing is working for example; She got in trouble for running around the pool This is probably the 3rd time she has done this since summer began When I took her out of time out I told her that we do not run around the pool because we can get hurt She then looked at me and said no run'in around the pool To me this is a sign that she is understanding why she is getting in trouble and not just that she was in trouble Am I wrong Do I need to be doing something else something more Answer soinlove 1 419 7/18/07 7:04 pm   3 1/2 yr. old Not Interacting with Other Children Question My son spent his first 2 1/2 years with a babysitter while I worked part time out of the home Since there are no children his age in our neighborhood his only interaction with other kids was at my gym 3 4 times a week for 1 2 hours a time He has always loved playing with the other children so last year (at 2 1/2) we decided to put him in school (daycare) 2 mornings week It's been almost a year and he still does not seem to interact much with the other children there nor will he talk about school It's funny though because he'll say he plays with other kids even though he really doesn't almost like he knows it's the "right" thing to say The teacher says that he mostly "does his own thing" but will sometimes play with the quiter children definitely not with the rowdier boys If my son was quiet and shy this wouldn't concern me But at home at my gym and with cousins (who he doesn't really know only sees every year or so) at the grocery store everywhere else he is very social outgoing rambunctious etc At my gym he is known as being a very good talker from an early age and is affectionatey known as a con artist He's like Norm from Cheers when he walks in all the kids call out his name to say hi so this totally different personality at school has me at a lost Should I be concerned Thanks Angela Answer Angela 1 367 7/17/07 6:26 pm   3 years old w/potty problems Question Our son is three years old and wont go to the bathroom he knows how he just won't go Sometimes we make him sit on his potty chair but when I do he cries I was wondering if you think it has anything to do with the fact we have a new addition to the family and if so what would be the best advice for us to help him We're worried because he goes to day care and we don't want the other children to make fun of him Any advice would be appreciated thank you Answer lady 1 402 7/15/07 6:41 pm 2 1/2 and suddenly in trouble at daycare? Question I have two children a 3 5 year old and a 2 5 year old Over the past two weeks my 2 5 yr old has been coming home with notes from daycare she bit another child she refuses to do what the teacher asks she throws fits and screams for no reason My husband and I have spoken with her about this behavior but never seen it at home (really I swear) When she went to a birthday party last weekend with my brother/sister in law they couldn't get over how GOOD she was she listened took turns etc This behavior at daycare has me concerned she is apparently in time out 'a lot' and now she cries when she gets to daycare and usually bursts into tears the moment we get in the car when I pick her up in the afternoon This has never happened before it just started over the past 2 weeks Any ideas/ways to help her I have spoken with her teachers and they say she is 'stubborn' and 'just won't listen' and act like she is a 'bad child' Please know that I AM NOT the 'not my child' kind of mom but I just haven't seen this behavior for myself Answer lawone 1 767 4/23/07 2:16 pm   Alone: Never Thought I’d Feel This Way Question Last week I moved into my new home It was overwhelming and I do not even know how I survived the physical aspect I actually had no real concerns about any mental transition that I might have encountered I am in my own home I should be happy I got what I wanted right I am happy but I have this emotion that until yesterday I did not know what it was I finally realized that I am all alone Not lonely just alone All the decisions I make are mine and mine to make alone and although that is what I wanted it is something that comes with emotional side effects I know that transition is not an easy thing Even if I moved from my ghetto apartment into my very own home That being a very positive transition for my children my dog and myself it is still something new that needs adjustment Up until yesterday I had been surrounded by friends and family It was not apparent until then that I was alone I have been alone since I moved out in December but still it had not hit me Sitting here by myself I know I need to deal with this feeling It is not all that bad just new Any words of wisdom thoughts ideas anything that can help me deal with this feeling would be much appreciated Answer RockStarMom 1 443 7/10/07 1:41 pm   back to work Question hello i'm a pediatric resident on maternity leave and very sad that it is coming to an end and that my child will have to go to daycare starting at 11 weeks of age i only have one year left of residency but it is becoming very difficult to imagine leaving him i was wondering if you could recommend a book regarding dealing with having to have nonparental care and also if you have any remarks about behavioral problems being more frequent in kids who are in nonparental care especially starting at an early age (this is addressed also in the latest archives of pediatric and adolescent medicine journal) thanks so much elizabeth Answer elizwill 1 432 7/9/07 2:32 am   3 year old has odd behavior when showing affection Question Hi My three year old son before he goes to hung any one or kiss them or show any type of affection he will hit you pinch you or do something agressive we usually see it in his face before the behavior occurs Is this normal Answer rynicksmom 1 419 7/8/07 7:16 pm   3 1/2 year old and negative behaviors.... Question Hi I know the behavior of a 3 1/2 year old is often directly related to the behavior and attitude of the parents along with the attention given to the child This is why I am soooooooo worried about my son I try so hard to do be a positive role model to my child but I am by nature a very high strung person and like my husband I don't deal well with stress My son's tantrums when things don't go his way are sometimes so out of control He will scream and sometimes he will hit himself in the face repeatedly until I stop him It bothers me because he is so sweet so kind and verbally he is very advanced This behavior puts his maturity into question which is not good since he is starting pre k soon What can I do I am willing to look at my behavior and try to calm down a little I really wish I knew more when I started this motherhood thing Attachment parenting is my style I never hit my kids I use positive discipline techniques and yet it's my OWN BAD behavior that causes my son to act out of control : ( Thanks for your input Answer girlinnyewyorkcity 1 392 7/7/07 12:47 am   5 and 6 year olds sexual behavior Question My 5 y/o son recently had a friend over 6 y/o boy It has come to my attention that they were in the backyard behind a shed and put there mouthes on each others penis How freaked out should I be about this We know of no other behavior like this My son claims the other boy made him do it (actually says the other boy put his mouth on my son) Answer ann 1 446 6/30/07 12:38 pm   4 Year Old and Anxiety Question My gregarious fun loving full of life 4 year old seems to be showing signs of anxiety Up until this point she knows no strangers or enemies lately she has become extremely fearful of a family friend who we go to church with He is strange in the way he looks but an extremely good man He has had no one on one interaction with her and she claims that he hasn't hurt her but she doesn't like him because he looks funny and scary The problem is he lives down the road from my in laws who watch her frequently She is now scared to go to there house and makes excuses why she doesn't want to go never stating it's because of him but she doesn't want to go to church or be around my in laws because after further interogation she doesn't want to see him At first we were hard on her cause this is so off for her to cry when she sees people but now I am realizing that she is truly terrified of the man and I don't know how to comfort her and reassure her that its ok to go to church and her grandparents house HELP We do have a family history of anxiety and on a few occasions I have noted that she works herself up into a stomach ache and on one occasion vomiting I don't want her to have anxiety but yet I don't know how to address the situation we are now just ignoring it hoping it will pass Any advice will help should we seek professional council or is this just a normal stage of being 4 Answer Laura B 2 500 6/21/07 1:58 pm 13 month child cries when mommy takes him away from husband-mother in law... Question Hi I have a 13 month old son and lately (the last month or two) i have been facing a problem My son deosn't seem to want to be with me much He cries when i try to carry him away from his father's or my mother in law's arms He NEVER smiles or seems happy to see me but acts like CRAZY when he sees them I start feeling like a bad mother and i don't know what to do It doesn't feel SO nice when your own flesh and blood rejects you Can anyone tell me what this might be Additional info: My mother in law is also CRAZY about her grandson and is spoiling him rotten PLUS he gets ENORMOUS amounts of attention from her something that does not happen at home since both me and my husband are working and routine kicks in As for mu husband he is less a disciplinarian that i am and hardly says no Can this be a reason Thank you in advance for your help Answer Chained 1 665 6/6/07 3:28 pm   school problems Question Debra My son has recently started to act out in school and has become silly and distracted He is 8 years old and at the end of third grade He is not completing assignments at school and is being too silly Any advice Thanks Suzanne Answer suzanne32 2 468 5/30/07 5:22 pm   Potty Problems Question We have a problem with our 3 year old daughter She is scared of having an accident in her pants She is fully potty trained and wears panties She has been doing great for over 10 months now She had two accidents and is scared of having another She is always going to the bathroom and is constantly worried about having an accident We have tried telling her not to worry about the accidents the best we can Not sure what else to do She no longer wants to have fun anymore just worries about going potty We need help Answer Mattmh3 1 463 5/30/07 3:53 pm   Is something wrong with my 8month old Question Hello I have an 8mth old daughter She is very happy with anyone and everyone She has never so far ever cried out for me or wanted me to pick her or for that matter if i am there among other members of the family has never shown any inclination to come to me I have a lot of friends who have kids and they are all attached or prefer just the mom Am i doing something wrong i work full time from home and i am the one who gives her a bath milk food etc I just quit my job because i was thinking may be she needs more time with me Even if i go out and come for an hour she has never wanted to come to me or cried for me I am really depressed and i want to know if i am doing something wrong Answer jayak 1 546 5/15/07 5:10 pm   teen sons Question Two of my teen sons have become disrespectful in that they raise their voice when responding to me or walk away Suggestions would be helpful I have three children above them that never acted that way Answer motherof5 1 462 5/21/07 11:39 am   Concern Question Hi Debra Thanks for your reply Since she was born my parents were here for 6 mths then within a month my inalws came and they are here now She is normally very responsive to everybody in general and maintains eye contact But it just surrpises me that she doesnt come to me on her own or look for me when i am in not in the room When i look around most of my friends kids prefer their moms and are clingy to their mom so i was just worried if i am doing anything wrong She doesnt even ask for me while putting her to sleep or feeding her Will she ever do that or i think her nature is such that she will be happy with anyone and everyone Thanks for your response Answer jayak 1 482 5/16/07 4:18 pm   How Will MY 1 1/2 to New Baby Question I am currently 4 1/2mths pregnant right now my 1 1/2 yr old loves other babies and actually encourages me to soothe another baby and waits patiently if I hold another child I am wondering if I can expect the same when my child is born in October or should I prepare myself for him to be upset When he realizes that the baby lives with us too Answer DSAJGA 1 450 5/14/07 11:29 pm   5 yr old acts out for for attention Question Dear Debra I could really use your help with my 5 yr old son Ever since he was very young he has acted out for attention When he is with only one person (one on one) he is calm sweet a model of the well behaved child However the more people around him the more he acts out shouts making noises jumping up & down He seems to enjoy shocking & scaring others especially his peers When he was 1 yr old and constantly throwing his food from his high chair we tried turning our heads from him and being quiet so he would get no reaction This worked But how to apply this to a walking jumping 5 yr old I don't know how to discipline this type of behavior A time out or talking to only gets him more attention & ignoring him does not help Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you Answer Hildy 3 504 5/9/07 2:40 pm Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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