Debra Gilbert Rosenbergis the author of The New Mom’s Companion: Care for Yourself While You Care for Your Newborn, a guide for first time mothers to help them adjust to the many emotional, relationship, identity, and physical changes that accompany motherhood, published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in April, 2003, and Motherhood Without Guilt: Being the Best Mother You Can Be and Feeling Great About It, a book that helps mothers become more self-accepting and confident about their motherhood, also published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in October, 2004. read more

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Sign In to Ask a Question Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5   behavior expert   Thread Posted by Replies Views Date   baby care Question Hi I am a single mom and  I need to go back to work full time I can't afford babysitter like Merry Popins and in my area there are cheap option like mom with baby taking care of my baby in her home for about 200 /week Or there are few daycare centers for about the same amount Which do you think would be better My concern is thet in day care she (my baby) wouldn't get so much attention becaouse of all the kids and she loves people She practicly stays on my arm all day and when I am putting her down she cries and I don't want her to feel let down But on the other hand they are profesional and mam with kid  well is verry experience but that is like hireing teenager as babysitter for older kids But with mom there will be just 2 3 kids counting my SO I am verry confused PLEASE HELP I don't want to leave my baby in first place but economy is forcing me to and since I have to do that I want her to have good care And will she won't forget me Will she still smiles everytime she sees me Answer Tweety 1 497 4/2/08 10:28 am   Oral Fixation of some sort? Question Hello Debra Im jessica Im writing today as ive been noticing a rather odd occurance with my 6 yr old He turned 6 this past Dec For the past week or so ive been noticing he has been putting things in his mouth Nothing too much out of the ordinary pretty much just his fingers and a chain thats around his neck His teacher actually had to take it off of him because he kept sucking on it in class Im not sure if this is behavioral or not but when i ask him why he says he is hungry Any insight   Answer jesschatt4 1 476 3/24/08 9:26 pm   Concerned mom Question Hello I am a mother of a 2 1/2 year old little girl who loves to rock My daughter has rocked since she could sit up (6 or 7 months old) she rocks side to side As she got older she now shakes her hands when she rocks which really draws attention to her A lot of people tell me I am over reacting but my gut feeling tells me somethings not sitting right with that said I have brought this to my family doctor and now referals are in   She also likes to stack books and sort flashcards I guess my questions is In your opinion am I over reacting could this rocking and hand shaking just go away on it's own    My only concern is what if it doesn't I don't want to set my daughter up to fail Concerned mama     Answer PAT 1 403 3/20/08 8:03 pm   RealSavvyMoms.com Mesage Boards Question Hello I am a mother of a 2 1/2 year old little girl who loves to rock My daughter has rocked since she could sit up (6 or 7 months old) she rocks side to side As she got older she now shakes her hands when she rocks which really draws attention to her A lot of people tell me I am over reacting but my gut feeling tells me somethings not sitting right with that said I have brought this to my family doctor and now referals are in   She also likes to stack books and sort flashcards I guess my questions is In your opinion am I over reacting could this rocking and hand shaking just go away on it 's own    My only concern is what if it doesn 't I don 't want to set my daughter up to fail Concerned mama     Answer PAT 1 346 3/20/08 8:03 pm   concern Question Hello I am a mother of a 2 1/2 year old little girl who loves to rock My daughter has rocked since she could sit up (6 or 7 months old) she rocks side to side As she got older she now shakes her hands when she rocks which really draws attention to her A lot of people tell me I am over reacting but my gut feeling tells me somethings not sitting right with that said I have brought this to my family doctor and now referals are in   She also likes to stack books and sort flashcards I guess my questions is In your opinion am I over reacting could this rocking and hand shaking just go away on it 's own    My only concern is what if it doesn 't I don 't want to set my daughter up to fail Concerned mama     Answer PAT 1 348 3/20/08 8:03 pm   rocking toddler Question Hello I am a mother of a 2 1/2 year old little girl who loves to rock My daughter has rocked since she could sit up (6 or 7 months old) she rocks side to side As she got older she now shakes her hands when she rocks which really draws attention to her A lot of people tell me I am over reacting but my gut feeling tells me somethings not sitting right with that said I have brought this to my family doctor and now referals are in   She also likes to stack books and sort flashcards I guess my questions is In your opinion am I over reacting could this rocking and hand shaking just go away on it 's own    My only concern is what if it doesn 't I don 't want to set my daughter up to fail Concerned mama     Answer PAT 1 348 3/20/08 8:04 pm   My two year old biteing habbits Question Hopefully you may be able to offer me advise I have two boys one 9 and other 2 years old I work full time and my little boy is with my child minder 9 4 00 she is saying that he is being very disruptive throwing toys at a playgroup hitting the other child she looks after 4 5 times a day she adopts the time out but this seems to make him worse bad tempered even more He does say sorry when he has been naughty sometimes immediatly after smacking or even biting he does not bite me but for some reason he nips the childminder even when he is sitting on her lap In general he is a lively little fellar and likes to make it known when he does not get his way but I am worrying with this behaviour at his childminders can you offer me any advise Answer Brayshelly 2 424 2/25/08 11:26 am   19month old won't sleep in crib Question I have a now 19 month old daughter who always has slept with me I could never get her tosleep in her own crib or bed I recently gave birth to my soon who is now 6 weeks old how can I get my daughter to sleep in her crib Answer donna83 1 405 2/22/08 5:57 pm   GERMS-HANDWASHING Question HI HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GOING THROUGH A FAZE OR THERE IS SOMETHING MORE GOING ON Answer sphillyhomie 1 363 2/19/08 9:24 am   Crying at Bath time Question My daughter used to love her bath times and used want to climb in before i even take her clothes off in the last 5 6 days however she is scared to hear the word Bath   I have tried to play with her toys in the bath first and take her favourite dolls in etc but nothing seems to work   I even took her with me but even that still ended up in heart wrenching crying How / What can i do to get bath time the way it used to be   Answer rrs 1 374 2/15/08 11:13 am   Bipolar?? Question My husband sleeps about 3 days in a row only to get up to go to the bathroom and eat he is EXTREMELY CRABBY and MEAN when he is up he does this about every 1 to 2 months It is so hard to be around him I have a 16 year old daughter from a previous relationship and a 6 week old baby He seems normal on the days he is not doing this Is he bipolar On a side note he has herpes and gets them on his lower back when he gets them or right before getting them he gets this way could this be the cause of this somehow NOTHING changes his mood not even our 6 week old baby girl :(     Answer Lisa777 1 413 2/9/08 6:12 pm   am i normal? Question i don know why i think people think am moody but they all like my personality and think am stronge and attractive and hoenst how can i look normal for people   Answer brownish 1 413 1/30/08 4:50 pm   10 Year Old Having Issues Question Over the past couple of years my 10 year old has been changing   It seems to only be getting worse   At first we thought it had to do with sibling rilvary (His older brother 13 had an accident and was getting alot of attention) Then his remarried mother had another child 8 mos later his remarried father had a child making him the middle child in both households Even though we are divorced and remarried us as parents and our new spouses are all active in his life   Things that he is doing  lying dramatizing everything stealing back talk always has something bad or negative to say acting out and doing things that he knows he is not supposed to do He dosen't know why he is doing it and says he is not meaning too   We have grounded took things away Big Kid time out spanked yelled and tried talking to calmly and nothing is working     I am not sure what to do next   My new husband who is the most patient of the two of us is ready to pull his hair out When you try to talk to him he is so "Out of Control"  you can't get him to understand anything or reason He has not got physical with himself or any of us at all   He cries uncontrollably and says he throat hurts and he can't breath Please help I am running out of things to do   Answer intensets 1 408 1/31/08 12:48 am   Preschool Question Hello My daughter turned 2 last November and I am considering sending her to preschool 6 hours a weeks in the fall She will be 33 months My concern is I am expecting another child and the baby is due the end of August right around the time when preschool would start   Would this be detrimental for my daughter   Answer sam 1 394 1/29/08 3:34 pm   Teaching kids how to lose gracefully Question Hi there My ten year old daugher has demonstrated some troubling behavior this past week   We played a game (Blokus) as a family and when her six year old sister won she stomped off and cried for 20 minutes   Then today we went bowling and when her sister got a "spare" she started crying at the bowling alley and refused to finish the game   She said she feels "stupid" when she loses   She plays two sports and we don't see this behavior when she loses during games as a team   But when she plays individually she gets so frustrated and stomps off or cries  This has happened when she's had friends over too and it is just embarrassing for everyone   I am at my wits end to help her any tips   Any good books she can read   Thanks so much for your valuable and appreciated input Answer chrissa21 1 375 1/21/08 9:26 pm   2 yr old hates being picked up Question Our daughter who will be 2 1/2 next month is usually a very sweet and well behaved little girl One thing that has been concerning me for a while though is that when we drop her off at her Grandmother's 1 day a week when I go to work or at church for an hour each week she has rarely gotten emotional or cried about us leaving her Whenever we go to pick her up from her Grandmother's or from church she cries and gets upset because she doesn't want to go home I realize that this is opposite of the way most children react Once she is home she is happy and shows us affection and like most kids follows us room to room to be with us at all times Is the fact that she gets upset when we want to take her home significant Are we doing something wrong Should we give her more time to play outside the home Are we not bonded well enough with her I am not sure what to make of this Thanks for your help Answer Susan 1 384 1/21/08 11:59 am   8-mth old Adaptability Question Hi   My 8 mth old son is not the scheduling type so I have learned to become incredibly flexible   However since birth I've noticed my son takes a very long time to get comfortable with settings outside of the home   For example I take him to a music class with 5 other babies every week (for the past 12 weeks) and it still takes quite some time for him to feel comfortable   In preparation for the music class we play the same songs and instruments that they place in the class at home every day and he LOVES it   I also talk to him about the class and arrive 15 min earlier to get him comfortable   Yet it still takes a good portion of the class for him to get comfortable   I use a similar approach for visiting family members and friends (e g I show pictures of the people and their homes)   What am I doing wrong Answer pub2007 1 394 1/14/08 2:17 am   first day in preschool Question Hello Debra My daughter is 3 years 4mnths old She is the only child in the family & recently we have moved to a new place The previous place didnot have any kid around our house She is good & social in nature but takes time to adjust She is too attached to me (particularly) & her dad We have put her in a nice preschool in our new locality The first day was terrible she didnot want to go away from me She cried a lot & throw out twice She was too upset The next day was the same I've been trying a lot to make her understand about the new friends she would get in the school & praise a lot about her new teacher Basically she is excited to go to school she has recently seen her cousins (in home country we are basically from India visited India few mnths back) At home she asks for new pair of socks/backpack other stuff for her new school & she is always excited to go to school But when we reach near to her class she again starts behaving in the same manner Its getting too hard I feel bad for her & the kids (in her class for disturbing the environment cause of her crying) Pls HELP JGill   Answer JGill 1 415 1/12/08 1:55 pm   Temper on my 4 year old Question Hi   I have a three wonderful little girls   1 is 20 months old 3 (4 in July) and my oldest 4(5 next month)   I just don't understand how to get my oldest to talk when she gets frustrated or doesn't get her own way   She just wants to scream at the top of her lungs throw herself on the floor and kick her feet or stomp her feet   I've sat down with her and explained the the fits won't get her anywhere   And I let her know the if she would use her words and talk about it it would be alot better for her   And she also wants to pick and carry around my littlest how can I get her to understand she can hurt her badly    Anything you can tell my will help   Thank you Answer Barbie001 1 387 1/9/08 5:08 pm   help me please Question my 5 years old boy is having problem behaving in the school sometimes he brings happy faces for 3 weeks in a row but then out of the blue moon he star getting straight face sad face because he talks too much   because he forget to raise his hand because he touch the walls in the halls and sometimes he is not paying attention to the teacher because he is talking we talk to him a lot me and his dad but he said yes l will bring you a happy face and then he comes back with a straight face l dont know what to do anymore sometimes l  want to spam him l made  him write the rules of the school more than 100 times so he doesnt forget but he still no behaving what l should do next sometimes l cry to him but it seem that nothing works please tell me what to do l told him for this chritmas he will not have no toys because i decided to put  him to write  the rules that day l am doing good or not please tellme if maybe l am too rough with him l love him so much but l want him to be a good boy and to grow  up good l hope l get an answer before christmas so l can give him his toys or maybe not  you tell me thanks in advance Answer 1 417 12/19/07 4:41 pm   Hives when upset Question Hi We have a four year old who is going through a behavioral rough spot   While she is very bright and caring she can also be bossy argumentative and defiant (did I mention she was four ) to me my husband occasionally her teacher and school friends   I have noticed something recently however that has me a bit concerned:  when she cries (usually as a result of some type of time out/go to your room situation) she is getting something that looks like hives   When she calms down they go away   Have you ever heard of this   I'm not completely unconvinced that she isn't having some type of allergy or physical ailment (she does have a cold and is very fair so everything shows up on her) I just don't know why it would correlate with the emotional upset   Any insight Thanks Bridget (mom to Izzy 4 and Hilde 1) Answer Bridget 1 453 12/11/07 9:47 am   4 year old with bad temper, mostly in public? Question Hello I have a son that is 4 and has a bad temper He will throw things at me scream kick I can't even hold on to him   He even has thrown his car seat at me while driving and has tried to open the car door   He mostly does these things in public so i can't even go anywhere It is so embarresting I have a older son that is 6yrs old and i can't do any fun things with him he is very well behaved and i don't want him to feel like he is the one being punished I also have another one one the way in about 3weeks and i'm afraid my 4yr old will hurt him   But then again he can be so loving and give hugs and kisses its like he has two personalities   He is in pre school and is just starting to act up there I just don't know what to do with him anymore please help Kelly Dunlavey Answer KellyDunlavey 1 411 12/16/07 12:49 am   2 1/2 yr. old's personality Question My daughter will be 3 in April she is a very smart little girl I have concerns over her socialization skills though When she does play with other kids her age she plays very well but if there are older kids around she would rather be with them Sometimes she will also take off by herself and not play with anyone Her father says it is because she is so smart that other kids her age bore her after a little bit She has a very extensive vocabulary and a very inventive imagination She can have an entire tea party with nothing but a table and chair When she begins play like this other kids her age just look at her she then becomes discouraged and goes somewhere to be by herself When she goes to my sister's house my nephew who just turned 3 has a v smile that he loves to play My dughter will play for a few minutes but then wants to go and play on the computer by herself (she loves Elmo's World) We try to encourage her to play with kids her own age but then that just turns into a major melt down At a birthday party the other day for another example they had tables set up for the kids and tables for the adults She sat with the kids for about 30 minutes but then brought her plate and drink over to the adult table and asked to sit with us When I asked her why she didn't want to sit the other kids she replied that they were being loud and she couldn't talk to any of them She has always been kind of anti social but as she's getting older it's starting to really bother me Should I be concerned or is this just who she is Answer soinlove 1 374 12/17/07 3:37 pm   Punishment is a laughing matter Question I have a year old daughter who is the light of my life She is a pleasure to be around and very good natured She is always smiling and laughing The only problem with that is she is now laughing at her father and I when we try to disipline her When she has done something she shouldnt do we always start by telling her "no" twice and stopping her from what she is doing In response she shakes her head at us and laughs Then we smack her hand and she still laughs Then we swat her on the butt and she still laughs I have even tried time out when just makes her giggle while rolling on the ground My husband wants to take more extreme measures ( his mother told us to use a wooden cooking spoon to spank her) but I do not agree What else can we do Thanks for listening   Runningaroundmom   Answer runningaroundmom 1 460 10/2/07 6:03 pm   Son loves to play in the street. Question Hi   I have a question about my 18 5 month old He is very busy smart and strong willed He LOVES cars trucks busses etc He loves the toys and especially the real things He loves to walk up to a truck that is parked and walk around it and around it stopping to touch the wheels etc   This alone makes me nervous Now add to this that when we play outside at home he awlays wants to go into the street (our neighbor across the street has a big pick up truck that he often parks in the street) and go to the parked trucks in the street He will walk from house to house doing this if we let him down the middle of the street So here is where the problem is I don't like to let him go in the street at all I don't want him to learn that it is okay to do so My husband disagrees and lets him go in the street to do this when accompanied by my husband It really became a big battle with my son when I would say no when  my husband says yes So because it is easier I had started letting him so long as I am with him even though I don't feel good about this But today my neighbor came out and expressed her concerns about us letting our son in the street under any circumstances I felt terrible because I knew she was right My husband and I cannot agree and he says "you do it your way when you are with him and I will do it my way" The thing is it will be hard to tell my son no when he knows his dad lets him do it   I am also concerned that it teaches him that it IS okay to play in the street I feel that my husband and I should be consistent and both always tell my son no and then re direct him which is what I try to do  I am sorry this is so long but I feel stuck and could really use some input My husband does not want to feel like he is "giving in" to me (this is his own "stuff" his own transference issues I beiieve) But how do we work around it I don't like the idea of my son walking around parked cars in our driveway you never know one could shift out of gear But that point is very far from getting my husband to see we are still dealing with the parked car in the street issue Help Thank you for your time and input   Rachel Answer Rizzo19 1 395 10/19/07 3:57 pm   hurting mommy Question Hello Debra I am a mom of a beautiful 16month old girl   She is astounding me everyday w/ new words new personalities and overall new behavior   One change that I'm not excited about is she has just begun hitting & kicking   Usually the hitting is like a game when I'm holding her or carrying her some where   She starts slapping my face or hitting the top of my head and will think it is funny   Sometimes she will even hug me immediately after   I usually just hold her hand and say "No hitting mommy   Oww that hurts mommy "  And then I put her down   I also have a major problem when I change her   She kicks me so hard and starts crying   Changing time is awful and I dread it everyday   I have tried everything from special toys while changing to a treat if she does well and then if she continues I've tried a 2 min time out in crib   Help   I've run out of ideas & don't know what is the best way to handle her   I'm guessing I'm starting terrible twos   I have to say this did all start around the same time we changed her schedule   My husband got a new job so now she has to go to in home child care 3 days a wk (as opposed to being w/ daddy during the day & mommy night   Ive always been part time though)  Any ideas would greatly help     Answer magsmum 1 502 10/2/07 2:39 pm   sleep Question My son is 2yrs old and one month and he is having trouble sleeping through the night I have read countless books (easy 2 do as he wont sleep ) and tried a variety of methods We stick to the same routine every night Last thing before bed we have wind down time and he has a bottle of warm milk Shortly after we put him to sleep in his cot So initially there is no problem he doesnt protest and actually goes down quite calmly Roughly 2 hours or more after he has gone down he will wake up and start crying and wont stop until someone retrieves him We check on him and there is nothing wrong So we decided we would try a different method let him cry it out So that sounds pretty logical you would think that he would cry for less time or realise nobody is coming and give it up Not my son he will keep continuously crying eventually he falls asleep but then a few hours later he starts again Sometimes we give in and bring him to our bed once he is in the comfort of our bed he falls asleep immediately and sleeps through How do we get him to sleep through on his own Sleep deprivation is killing us During the day he gets plenty of activity and has even stopped having his afternoon nap We have also tried several different routines What we find is that the majority of textbooks etc all focus on the putting down thats the only bit we have got sussed its the sleeping through that is causing us problems Any help and advice would be appreciated Many thanks Raj Answer raj 1 449 9/27/07 6:37 pm   refusing to sleep in a bed Question hi my 33 month old daughter is refusing to sleep in her toddler bed she has never had a problem with taking naps or going to sleep in it before an willingly climbs into it but as soon as my husband an i leave the room she is on the floor with her blanket an pillow an doll at the door if you look at the door from the hallway you can see where the pillow n blanket get shoved under the door i'm very concerned she didn't start this until bout a month ago she stayed with her grandmother over night due to a family emergency an i'm wondering if this is a sign of some kinda trama or a phase she's going through she will tell you she loves her Dora bed an wants to play on it an make it up each morning she just won't stay in it also her younger sister who is 14 months old shares the room with her an she doesn't try to climb into the crib with her or anything am i just being paranoid or should i take this to her doctor as a concern please any help would be great i want to be able to put her to bed an nap time an not have to be worried bout her an sleeping on the floor before our new baby arrives at the end of october thanks so much jtcwj Answer jtcwjotoole 1 433 9/13/07 9:06 pm   daughter mean to dog Question Our daughter is sometimes mean to our 2 dogs   She will pull them by the collar and the dogs start to choke and sometimes hit them and kick them   My husband and I have decided that if she does this again she won't be able to sleep with a dog   She loves sleeping with a certain dog night so do you think that if she does this again we should tell her not to sleep with the dog that night only   Also she is sometimes mean to her baby dolls   She will throw them and treat them mean   My husband and I have also decided that if she does that one day that she won't be able to play with her baby sister and no holding her for the day and take away her baby doll for the day too DO you think these punishments would be ok and work We are expecting in 2 weeks   Thanks Answer Lisa 1 458 9/12/07 10:48 pm   what can i do? Question Hi I really need your help i am so stuck frustrated and upset My Son is 3 years over the past year we have been doing a lot of traveling i e we moved from the United Kingdom i am British and my husband American We moved to Wisconsin for 6 months and then moved here to Manassas VA for job reasons i started potty training my son just after his 3rd birthday in July when we were settled in our new apartment its now September and he is dry and pees in the toilet or potty but i can not get him to poo in the potty its always in his underwear i have tried staying in the same room for days but he holds it in I even tried leaving him in his room alone with the potty and explained he has to got to the potty but he does not do it not once my nieces in England are potty trained completely in just 2 weeks and there younger am I a bad mum what am i doing wrong i have tried everything i never shout at him if he makes a mess I just say its dirty you should poop in the potty and he just ignores me please any advise would be great   thanks Answer joeykareen2126 1 429 9/5/07 4:42 pm Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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