Debra Gilbert Rosenbergis the author of The New Mom’s Companion: Care for Yourself While You Care for Your Newborn, a guide for first time mothers to help them adjust to the many emotional, relationship, identity, and physical changes that accompany motherhood, published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in April, 2003, and Motherhood Without Guilt: Being the Best Mother You Can Be and Feeling Great About It, a book that helps mothers become more self-accepting and confident about their motherhood, also published by Sourcebooks, Inc, in October, 2004. read more

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Sign In to Ask a Question Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5   behavior expert   Thread Posted by Replies Views Date   potting training Question  My son who is almost 8 yrs old will not poop in the pot We have giving him thing when he does Sometime we punsh him he know how he just won't do it It  like he doesn't won't to stop doing what he's doing to go We have tried everything we can Please help Answer jenn62868 1 288 6/4/09 4:25 am   Trouble with 8yrs boy Question  Will not go poop in the pot Well go some times He will not stop doing what he is doing to go poop in the pot Need help Answer jenn62868 1 267 6/5/09 2:55 am   Second Nursery Question I am expecting my first baby and am a little concerned in regards to my Moms behaviour We live in separate cities and have so since she moved away when I was 20 We speak or email every second or third day and try to visit one another 2 or 3 times a year   I moved to another separate city with my husband two years ago for work benefits We have been married for 10 years   I am an only child so this is most likely the first and only grandchild However I recently became concerned when my Mom got upset when we decided to choose our own cot and demanded to see pictures of it She has now recently borrowed a more up market cot from friends in the same wood colour and is beginning to set up a nursery in her own home Her reasoning is that when I fly to visit her I will not have to bring everything with me I had made it clear in the past that I wanted to try IVF one more time approximately 10 months after this birth assuming all was well and therefore would not be travelling anywhere for the next 18 months On Mothers Day this year I received a present and card written on behalf on my unborn son from her Lastly she had promised to take a month off and stay with me close to the due date however now she has decided otherwise and will fly down the day before and wants lessons in nursing a baby from the hospital I am slightly confused and beginning to get very worried   Do you have any suggestions in how to handle this as I can see things going very badly from here on Answer Cristie 1 282 5/26/09 11:05 pm   My 2 year old smears poo out of his nappy! Question Hello I hope you can help me My 2 year old is generally well behaved but in the last month or so has become very naughty which I suppose is just down to his age Yesterday morning I went to get him from his cot and was hit by an awful smell of poo as he had 'painted' it onto the wall next to him all over his cot and thrown some onto the floor he then asked me if I would like to do some drawing I told him off and put it down to a one off thing Later that day he went for a nap and did the exact same thing again he knows it was wrong as he told me he was naughty as I came into the room I slapped his hand (not hard but so he knew I was cross) and told him in a strict voice that he was naughty and put him in the bath to clean him with the shower hose which he hates I hoped this experience would put him off doing it Unfortunately this morning he has done it again Last night I put him to bed a in a full body suit that zips up at the front in an attempt to stop him but he has worked out how to unzip it Can you please tell me how I should proceed in dealing with him over this matter Thanks Answer EmmaT 1 287 4/26/09 9:33 am   son prefers grandma Question Hi I saw that you answered a similar question before but wanted to get your opinion on my situation please   my almost 2 year old prefers one person to me my mother in law and whenever she is in town then he will cry if i try to put him down for sleep now pushes me out of his room if i'm the one who comes to get him from his nap   she was frequently visiting during his first year of life every 2 3 weeks or so therefore he is very comfortable with her   it just really hurts my feelings and i don't know the best way to handle it   i don't want to just roll over when she's around and let her take over as she is a pretty dominant personality and this has happened in the past and probably helped the situation arise   but i also want to know the best way to handle my own feelings of rejection by my son   when she's not around he basically treats his father the same way only wanting me a lot of the times so i'm not getting a lot of support from him about this   i wish if this were something that i thought he would outgrow but it's been several months now and he will cry to go to her from me   any advice would be helpful   we're having another baby in october and i definitely will set more limits on the amount of grandma acting like mom occurs with our next   i'm a working mom also and he does not do this it all with his daycare providers who love him dearly   thank you Answer elizwill 1 305 4/5/09 8:42 pm   2-1/2 yr. old throwing fits when I tell her no Question I have 2 1/2 year old girl that has tantrums when I ask her or tell her to do something But when the babysitter asks or tells her to do it she does it What can I do to get this under control Answer littletrouble 1 342 2/20/09 3:30 pm   change her sleep schedule? Question Hi my 9 month old daughter is a really good baby she goes to bed around 6h30pm and gets up between 4 and 5am She then has 2 or 3 30 min naps during the day It is almost impossible for me to have a nap in the day so by the end of the day I'm exhausted I am still breastfeeding but now at night I give her 6 oz of formula around 9pm She drinks the whole thing normally doesn't even wake up I thought she would sleep longer that way but no what can I do Is it possible to change her sleeping schedule thank you very much Answer anita 1 265 2/17/09 10:44 am   Only child does not play well with others Question Hello: My beautiful baby girl is 32 months and does not like to play well with others she is an only child which means she did not grow up around any other toddlers plz help me ASAP   Jasmime Answer Mama SC 1 288 2/3/09 3:15 pm   My baby is suddenly very fussy and sometimes won't nurse Question Where do I begin   I feel like I am living a nightmare   My 3 month old got her immunizations over a week ago and she had a fever of course   She all of a sudden refused to nurse or take a bottle so I attributed that to her shots   But took her back to the dr to be sure   He said she had a little cold and that maybe she couldn't breathe and that's why she was getting so upset when I tried to nurse but by this time she was taking a bottle just fine   So all last week I was having days or episodes where she would nurse fine and times when she would freak out and cry   She will nurse on one side and then cry almost inconsolably after that   And now she is extremely fussy and cries alot even in the morning   I took her back to the dr   yesterday thinking/hoping it was an ear infection but it's not   He said she might still be getting over her cold or going through a growth spurt   I am pumping plenty of milk but I tried to supplement anyway just to see and she didn't want it   I just don't understand what happened to my happy content baby    And she doesn't seem to be sleeping much during the day either like maybe a total of 2 or 3 hours between 8 am and 5 pm   We took her out of daycare and hired a nanny on Jan 5th which is when it seems like this has all started   Of course the shots were around that time too   I'm on the verge of stopping the breastfeeding and just pumping and give her a bottle but I really don't want to and would like to exhaust all options before stopping   I have talked to numerous lactation consultants friends and the dr and can't get an answer and it's wearing me out worrying about why my baby is so fussy and fights me on nursing Answer new mommmy 2 286 1/20/09 5:15 pm   Am I Spoiling My Baby? Question My 81/2 month daughter will be fine playing with her dad if I'm not in the room but as soon as I walk in or she hears my voice she starts whining for "mama mama"   My husband thinks that I'm somehow spoiling her   I really don't think that I am   Although I am home with her everyday I try not to "coddle" too much but I feel I'm just giving her mommy's love   I'm curious to see what you think Answer Kim 1 268 1/26/09 2:37 pm   Sleeping Techniques Question My daughter is 6 months old and will not sleep through the night Do you have any techniques that might work (because its killing me) I mean I get her belly full she takes a nice bath I try everything I know possible Answer RebeccaLaw 1 253 1/19/09 1:37 pm   Nervous at night with newborn baby Question Is it normal to feel intimidated with a new infant during the night time hours I am afraid that I won't know what to do to comfort her when she becomes fussy and I have checked/changed diaper and fed Any suggestions to help me keep my sanity Answer Mama SC 1 248 1/13/09 5:33 pm   Are 8mos old supposed to bob head to fall asleep Question My 8mos old son bobs his head on his mattress to go to sleep He is very responsive when you call his name He looks you in the eye when you talk to him He trys to walk when you hold his hands He holds his own bottle and sits up and crawls by himself He doesn't want you to buckle him in the seat he grabs your hands and hold the buckles He does everything at a fast pace I just wanted to know if him doing this was normal He watches tv and he will ignore you if you get in the way of the tv This is just something he started doing the past 3 mos Answer Ms*Nana 1 261 1/10/09 3:53 am   9 week old will only sleep with me Question We have tried everything   She will only sleep in my arms during the day and in my bed with me at night   We have tried the swing the vibrating bouncy seat the car seat the pack n play with a sleep positioner and the stuffed bear with the sound of the heartbeat and ocean etc   I've even tried putting my nursing pads and night shirt next to her in the bed She will fall asleep in my arms and then I will put her down and she will wake up 20 30 minutes later   Wide awake   I know I need to get her out of my bed but it's so hard because I have to work and I need my sleep   Is she too young to let her cry   And then what do I do when she wakes up 30 minutes later screaming   I can't ever get anything done because I always have to hold her   I can't ever go anywhere either because she will start crying in her car seat   So forget Christmas shopping   Please help Answer new mommmy 2 319 12/15/08 1:03 pm   Change in Sleep Habits Question My baby is 11 weeks old and has stopped sleeping the last few days   He used to sleep about 10 hours at night he wakes up 2 times to breastfeed and then takes 2 two hour naps during the day   The past couple of days he keeps waking up every half hour or so and seem so unhappy   I have tried feeding him   He will fall asleep but then wake up still before he should be   He hasn't been taking great naps during the day either but will then sleep for like 4 hours around dinnertime   He was born 8 weeks early so I know he's still a little guy but it is making me nuts not knowing what to do to help him   I know he's too young still to cry it out so what can I do Answer Caden's mommy 1 279 1/1/09 1:17 am   Normal behavior for a 4 year old girl? Question Recently I was at a birthday party for a 4 year old cousin of mine I brought my 18 month old son with me My aunt the mother of the 4 year old girl suggested we go in the cousin's room and play with the toys My son started to play with the toys and she grabbed them out of his hand saying "no he can't have that " My other aunt tried to play with one of her toy horses and the 4 year old ripped it out of her hand and threw it at her All the while my aunt stood by and said nothing except she hadn't had a nap in 2 days Then I had said to my son "look she has a T V in her room just like you " to which the 4 year old replies " Mine is bigger " But that is not the problem that I had A little later The cousin was sitting in the new jeep she got for her birthday and my son started to climb on her lap and she pushed him causing him to smack the back of his head on the floor I immediately screamed "not nice" to my cousin I was angry My aunt is now trying to say that that is normal behavior for her age and that she doesn't act like that in school so it was probably a fluke thing I explained to her that children act different in  different environments and that she was displaying a selfish bully like attitude She also said that my child getting a lump on his head was normal Sure I think its normal but not if another child causes it The cousin has also done things in the past similar to this which leaves me to believe that she is a spoiled brat When my son was 1 week old the aunt thought it would be nice for the cousin who was then 2 and a half   to hold my son At which time my cousin tried to hit him on the head And again the aunt did not dicipline her for doing this What I am trying to ask is who is right and who is wrong because I want to settle this with the aunt before Christmas so there won't be any tention   Thank you in advance Answer momofbilly07 1 276 12/21/08 10:33 pm   two year old boy Question Some one please help i have a two year old boy and i cant get him to stop spitting bitting When it is bed time he cries like no other child i know He has had the same bad time since he was born And its not like he is by his self he has a older brother who is 8 They have a night light in the room so its not that he is scard of the dark I just dont know what to do PLAESE HELP Answer mprenee06 1 369 10/20/08 7:44 pm   Impulse Control issues with my 4 year old Question Please help me This is the worst day in all of my 15 years as a mother My youngest son 4 hits and throws things We have been working on this trying to give him more attention and be more firm with our discipline He is in preschool 3 half days a week Last week on our day home together he did something of a violent nature to our dog twice enough to make her yelp I did not see it however but disciplined him for it Today he was outside playing with the water and mud while I worked on the computer Things got quiet and I heard him come upstairs 15 minutes later when I went to check on him I couldn't find him anywhere I called getting desperate but no answer Finally I found him under the covers in my other son's top bunk I knew from his silence and the look on his face that he had done something bad While searching for him outside I noticed that the top had been taken off our turtle pen He has been told not to go into the pen without an adult I then found two of our five turtles out of the pen I found the last one in the pen in the turtle house with the top of his shell broken I was screaming and sobbing I love my turtles and all of our various pets deeply and I was devastated to see one of them injured especially because I knew it was my son's fault I asked him how the shell broke and he told me he threw the turtle I sobbed even harder We have had a house full of animals his whole life and shown him nothing but care kindness and love as the way to treat these animals How could he have done this We rushed to the vet me sobbing him silent and more compliant than he has even been in his whole life The turtle had to be euthanized I tried not to use blaming words and my voice was quiet when I explained it to my son but I let him know that he was the reason that the turtle died and he did a mean bad thing to the turtle that caused him to die When we got home I took him to the pen and gave him a rock and asked him to show me what happened to the turtle just in case he dropped it not threw it He took the rock raised his arm and stopped He said he didn't want to hurt the rock by throwing it I told him that a rock is not alive like a turtle and he wouldn't hurt the rock He threw the rock down pretty hard I took his hand and told him he was having a really long time out in his room and he would be losing some of his favorite toys and movies for a while I feel so broken by this How could I have a kid who would do this kind of thing Will he grow up to be violent and or abusive And what about me I know I should have been paying more attention to him I was just telling another mom yesterday that I realized that he doesn't get enough attention and that could be why he does destructive stuff I know I should have been paying more attention to him Please help me to find a way to forgive him for hurting a defenseless animal Please help me find a way to be a better parent to him He is so different from my two older kids Thank you Answer TZT 1 371 10/10/08 9:10 pm   In despirate need of some silence Question Dear Dr Rosenberg My son is going to be 4 years old next year March and has a huge behavour problem He does what any young child would do once a new sibling is introduced into the family i suppose I recently gave birth to a beautiful little girl who is now 5months old and my son loves her to bits He shows all his love by screaming at the top of his lungs and makes a hell of a lot of noise especially when he knows she is asleep Even when she is not around though the problem is not eradicated he is still as noisy and excited as ever He sometimes cries for small things and i know its difficult with not being the only one and the baby anymore but he needs to tone it down a bit His too agressive and plane down wild He doent fight NO but shows his agressiveness in the way he talks and shouts His really a lovable child and very protective of his little sister but his a nightmare to go home to after a 10hour day at work   Please help us tame him down a bit and did i mention his still on daipers   Many thanks Answer Melissa 1 382 9/29/08 12:08 pm   my 5 year old daughter Question  hi my name is lashonda and i have a 5 year old daughter named la'zaria she is currently in kindergarden and i was just wondering what to do about her behavior problem in school in her class they have 3 steps green being good and red being bad for the past 6 days she has gotten red faces everyday i have tried everything that i know how to make her act better in school but everyday the teacher is constantly writing a note on her behavior chart saying she is either not paying attention or she is getting out of her seat i am wondering what to do i have tried taking the things she likes away but that doesn't seem to be doing any good do you have any advice for me on what more i could try or if i should take her to see a behavior doctor to get her tested for ADHD i mean she is a very smart child but she just doesn't act the way i know she should act Answer msdsshawtie 1 343 9/18/08 12:16 am   cry in his crib Question Hi My 9 months old baby boy does not want to sleep in his crib Starting from last week when I put him into the crib he just cries and cannot stopping crying He has to sleep with us When I held him up he immediately stops crying or even smile I had tried several time to leave him alone but he just cannot stop crying for over 10 mins why and how to deal with his behaviours   Thanks Answer SuperStar 1 376 9/16/08 1:21 am   Day/night mixup Question My girl is almost 4 weeks old she sleeps alllll day and only wakes crying for a feeding and diaper change When it comes to the evening she seems wide awake she eats ALOT more and wont settle down to go to sleep   AHHHHH any advise for helping her get on more of a schedule and should she be sleeping that much during the day It is impossible to keep her up   Thx Answer fitmom 1 336 9/15/08 3:28 pm   8-yr old behavior problems Question my 8 year old son has been in school for only 3week and has been to the office 2 time within 2weeks i have tried everything what should i do Answer mizzhubbard 1 318 9/10/08 9:28 pm   7 month grand daughter afraid of baths Question My 7 month old grand daughter has never enjoyed her baths From getting them in the kitchen sink to getting them in the baby bath Now she is too big for either of these We have begun giving her a bath in the tub However as soon as we get into the bath room she gets upset We have tried leaving a shirt on and my daughter has tried getting into the bath with her Nothing seems to work we have alsop tried distracting her and putting toys in the yub All she does is scream LOUDLY Any suggestions Answer Shersie 1 356 8/14/08 11:41 pm   10 with serious mental issues Question My 10 year old son has severe asthma The last two years he has changed drastically he lies about everything he bullies his 3 year old sister and makes his 9 mth of brother cries for know reason He gets angry because he can't do certain things other kids do because of his asthma he talks about hurting hisself and he's tried to hurt himself recently I think alot of his problems has to due with his illness but i'm lost for words He been waking up out of his sleep saying he's seeing and hearing things even when he's not sleep for over a year Recently I've gotten a referral for counseling for his pcp because I don't know what else to do The other thing I fail to mention is that he also has severe allegies and is allergic to everything under the sun except dogs and cats  Did I do right thing by seeking counseling Answer sdp198028 1 373 8/12/08 11:27 pm   very fussy Question My daughter is 10 months now and she is soooooo fussy   She always wants to be held   I have recently changed formula from similac lactose free to meijer infant formula milk based   She seems to be doing fine with it   Could it be that the formula is not agreeing with her or is she teething   Her gums do look swollen   She is not throwing up her formula or anything   Thanks Lisa Answer Lisa 1 395 7/27/08 1:22 am   Can there be too much pretending? Question Our daughter will be 3 at the end of this month Over the past few months she has been pretending that she is a different book/TV character or a relative/friend She will pick somebody and give my husband and I a name and then absolutely insists that we call her by the made up name She gets upset to be called by her real name She will announce to strangers at the store or wherever that she is "Clifford" or cousin "Jacob " My husband was concerned that this is increasing to where she is constantly pretending she is someone else Is this a normal stage or is it possibly a problem that she is pretending that much Should we just play along with her Is there anything to be concerned about Thank you Answer Susan 1 358 8/3/08 3:27 pm   pouting & crying Question Hi I have a 3 year old boy who is really polite and good at using his manners so long as he gets what he wants   Lately he pouts or cries whenever he is told no We have told him that acting that way will not get him what he wants and if he insists on continuing with his little fit we will put him in his room for some quite time He also has been getting upset when guests have to leave or he has to come home from somewhere he has been having fun at He will pout and fuss and sometimes storms away he also refuses to say goodbye or thank you When I ask why he won't say goodbye he usually sez he is not happy that they have to go or that he has to come home I have tried explaining the importance of being polite and he usually ends up saying that he will say good bye and thank you next time but he never does It's a bit embarassing when people go out of their way to spend time with him and bring him presents or take him somewhere fun and when it's over he gets rude and won't give them the  time of day   I just don't know how to try and change this behavior I was hoping it was just a faze and it would pass but it just seems to be getting worse It's getting to be I don't want to take him places like his playgroup because of the show he puts on at the end But I also don't want him to miss out on things I would really appreciate any help or suggestions Thank you so much Answer cinderella 1 363 7/29/08 2:28 am   putting down Question Most of the time when I put my daughter down to play she starts crying alot   She always wants to be held   As long as you are holding her she is a happy baby   She is 9 5 months old   Do i just let her cry   or hold her   But then if i hold her all the time then she will get her way   What do i do   She doesn't have any teeth yet so maybe she's teething   HELP Answer Lisa 1 368 7/20/08 9:54 pm   my son is out of control please help Question hello i have meny kids in my house my 14 year old son over the past 2 years has gotting into some really bad truble over the last 6 months hes gottin to the point he will not do as hes told he hits the other kids yells at them and the other people in the house he says its his life and his body he can do what he wants and wear what he wants i dont like hitting my kids i yell alot but the docters just tell me to punish him any way i can but i wont he will not hit me he just yells at me he has adhd and bipoler and a heart promble he had heart surgey a little over a month ago and now he is worse then ever before its so bad i have thought about giving him away to save the other kids from him but i love my kids to much just to push him away is there any hope please help Answer mickey 1 592 4/9/08 6:11 am Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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